As a lady whose eyebrows start out bold and strong and then just... give up about halfway across the brow there, I have no idea. The tiny mean lady who waxes my eyebrows (when I remember or make time to go there and have her do it) does some kind of magic to give them shape and life. Aside from that... I can't help…

Superfans of anyone are the f*cking worst.

The fact that her rabid fans are going apeshit because these photos are making her look "bad" highlights just how much photoshopping models and beauty culture in general fucks with our minds.

Beyonce superfans are the absolute fucking worst and please, I beg of you, come the fuck after me.

There needs to be a system in place to grant access to the internet, like you have to pass a basic sanity, logic, and reasoning test to gain a license to use the web.

SINGER HAS HUMAN FACE; FANS LOSE THEIR SHIT.

OMG BEYONCE HAS PORES?!

That 31 year old colleague sounds like they are more emotionally and socially liberated than you.

Chocolate milk is delicious and essentially just cold hot chocolate. I will drink it for the rest of my life.

You are too quick to dismiss the awfulness of the world of Thomas the Tank Engine. These stories are tales of oppression, mental abuse, and lousy workplace safety. These sentient beings are subject to the passive-aggressive mindgames of a comically inept, obese slavemaster who was born into his job. The engines are…

HOLD UP. "I love you right up to the moon— and back." is from a children's book? Holy fuck I hate that phrase so so so much.

Thank god somebody finally spoke up about Guess How Much I Love You. That book is terrible. "Just give up, kid, you'll never be good enough".

No one actually reads the bible, they just tell you what they think it says.

This fucking book with the stalker mom.

Add the book Rainbow Fish to your list of books not to read kids. Here is how the story goes a beautiful fish is made fun of by other fish. The fish goes and asks someone (an octopus I think) what it should do and it replies that it should give away its beautiful scales to make friends. So the fish does and makes…

Five Chinese brothers, who all look alike. One swallows the sea and then drowns a little kid that doesn't listen properly.

I am okay with the theme of "Guess How Much I Love You", it's having to say "nutbrown hare" 50 times in 3 minutes that is awful.

My parent's takeaway from "The Giving Tree" was that the boy never said thanks.

I read Make Way for Ducklings to my kid for over two years before I realized that the dumbass names of the ducklings were just beginning with JKLMNOPQ and rhyming with "Quack." It's like even McCloskey got bored with his own book.