A 5-second violation is for in-bounding the ball and the ball was in-bounded. Next time understand the rules before you try to put blame on the refs/commissioner.

On arriving home from school, the boys asked their parents what the pussy is and how to fuck her right in it.

Wonder how many confederate flag wavers are telling Hillary supporters “you lost, get over it”?

I usually fly Southwest because things like “getting my luggage delivered” and “the airplane working” are my priorities. I usually just make sure I get a window seat, use Google Maps to track my flight and spot cities and landforms (difficulty: This sucks over water) and very politely figure out how to best take…

Peter King came to my town once. Went to a diner and loved the coffee so much he drank four pots. Then he took a three flush shit. You could hear the splashing sounds from the sidewalk. Afterwards he comes out smiling, telling us all, “Hell of a toilet you got there. American Standard. Nothing like it.”

Peter King is my hero.

AND WHERE DO THEY TEND TO LIVE? IN CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISESESES. CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISEES HAVE ACRONYMS, LIKE LA OR NYC OR CHICAGO... CEO IS ALSO AN ACRONYM, WHICH REARRANGED SPELLS “OPEC”, BUT WITHOUT THE “P”. WHO ELSE DOESN’T HAVE PEE? SEA ANEMONES. ANEMONES IS A HOMONYM WITH ENEMY AND CEOS ARE THE…

Less and less booze. Fewer and fewer bottles of said booze.

Just fuck already.

They’re like drug dealers. You’ll never get rid of them as long as there’s a demand. Who the fuck are the idiots spending good money to own a signed ball cap or sneaker, anyway?

When did this happen? Now I can’t stop seeing Uncle Shaq...

Yeah, I remember that. But, I don’t think that one misogynistic asshole using a phrase 27 years ago makes that phrase off-limits or loaded.

If you think “Sit back, relax and enjoy” could kinda’ sorta’ allude to rape, you must see rape allusions everywhere.

The biggest winner of the night is AP photographer Tom Lynn.

Also, Deadspin went down to Ted Fucking Cruz

O-F-F-S-E-A-S-O-N

People hate the Warriors because Draymond is a dick kicking asshole and their bandwagon tech-bro fanbase is annoying.

I hate when these people start rioting and destroying their own neighborhoods...

Team forecast to win by 15, wins by 18. Film at 11.

In fairness, I think Hamilton’s problem was too many duels.