This story makes me want to visit the Lululemon store at my local mall and ask them for six pairs of their most expensive yoga pants. I would then bend over to tie my shoelaces so they could get a look at my big, fat ass.

I'd have hit that. Hard!

Faded reality "stars" gotta get attention any way they can. Whch also could explain Kelly's "Seria" tweet - would anyone have noticed it if she had spelled it correctly?

This seems a perfect opportunity to quote Oscar Wilde:

Darren, y u make me h8 u? SMH. Stop twerking.

I'd take the high road and (nicely) decline the invitation to the girls-only party. Just the fact that they are throwing separate parties speaks volumes about their view of gender and friendships, and who needs that in their life?

I make a green drink with spinach, kale, lemon, apple, celery, fresh ginger, cucumber, water and ice. It took some getting used to, but it's great with lots of ice.

Two teachers had a profound effect on my life. The first was a nun who taught seventh and eighth grade English, who was the strictest grammar teacher I ever had. Her lessons have stayed with me all my life, and have served me well in my career as a journalist. My party tricks include naming all of the prepositions in…

I don't smoke and never did, probably because I grew up with an alcoholic father who inhaled 4 packs of Chesterfield Kings or Lucky Strikes every day. Our apartment had a permanent blue haze, which I'm sure exacerbated my brother's severe asthma. I could never marry or date a smoker, because I just can't be around…

Totally! Do you have a Barbie Dream House? Vintage outfits? A Ken doll?

First thought: I WANT that entire outfit.

I don't have kids, and none on the horizon, so this all sounds scary to me.

He can't be a man 'cause he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me.

I don't have a big problem with Pinkalicious Astronaut Barbie — at least it's a professin where Icky Hard Math is required, and that's progress.

I think there's also some jealosy - Willis has gotten oddly better looking with age, while Sly looks worse with every bit of hair dye and fake tan. Which makes me sad because I had a huge crush on Original Rocky-era Stallone. Before all the muscles and Rambo nuttiness.

Hugh Laurie could call me a filthy, c%^k-sucking, disease-ridden whore and I would swoon.

I don't see the problem with breastfeeding in pretty much any situation. I don't have kids, but I think if I were breastfeeding, I'd drape some sort of napkin or cloth for privacy's sake. But blankets are hot for the poor kid, and I think the mom gets to decide how much privacy she needs. Sitting in the window seat of…

No new albums from Chris Brown?

I've had a thing for Pierce Brosnan since "Mannions of America" back in the 70s. I have to say, I find him absolutely more attractive now that he's older and more filled out. Back in the old days, he was pretty but slight — he looked like I could bruise him with a hearty hug.

This would have saved my dad so much time if it had been available when I was a child / teen. He had to rely on the voices emanating from his cans of Rheingold.