Please. I went to Catholic school (Bronx, late 70s) and if your uniform wasn't perfect - white knee socks, polished shoes (which could only be bought at one specified store), tie, skirt hitting the top of the knee, etc. - you would get sent to the principal's office where you'd probably get a nice, hard slap. They'd…

I used to live near the Stella D'Oro factory in the Bronx. The entire enighborhood smelled like Breakfast Treats in the morning. So sometimes you get lucky!

So, one year after Archie's demise: Betty and Veronica are either life partners or they're both secretly banging Moose, Jughead is a tech mogul and Reggie has been divorced 7 times and is looking for an online "Sugar Baby." Tiger has no progeny because he was fixed.

I think you're forgetting that Kim also provided much-needed employment by engaging in procreative activities with an aspiring musician (using all the orifices she could muster) and then "leaking" the footage online. Her entire family (plus countless others) have benefited from the efforts of her private parts. And…

Wow — a low-brow, marginally talented fame whore and a sloppy, amateur porn actress on the cover of Vogue! Well done, Ms. Wintour. I'm happy that this is the cover that defines your tenure at Conde Nast. You know that no one will ever take you seriously again (if, in fact, they ever did.)

I have never understood people having a problem with a Trans woman or a man (taking his child) into the ladies room. There are DOORS on the stalls! I have never been in one where the ladeez are fussing with their naked business in front of everyone. It just seems stupid. Calm the eff down, everyone!

I LOVE the MIndy Project — one of the most consistently funny shows on network TV. Kick up those extra wide feet, Mindy! I, too, rarely fall down.

Do young male viewers know that the typical female dancer on this show gyrates wildly while wearing a feather and perhaps a sequin over each nipple? I've never understood why it's not Must-See TV for men. Most the the male pros look like gigolos, though moody Val gives me the hot shivers.

At this point, I wouldn't allow Miley Cyrus's tongue near the soles of my snow boots. That thing's just nasty.Also — "good art" = simulated blowjobs?

I hate when people say things like "I want to be present for that." Equally annoying is "mindful." UGH.

I feel like the universe is already composing an Off-Broadway musical farce about the future gayification of our three branches of government from this crazy Alec Baldwin screed.

I am SO glad that the combination of Ethan Hawke and Winona Ryder disgusts me enough that I have managed to avoid this movie. (Sorry, Janeane - you're the best.)

I once worked for a newspaper owned by a woman, and she made it clear that "gals" weren't cut out to be editors because emotions and babies. The way she made it clear was by saying it on a number of occasions.

Point taken — instead of "so many people" I should have written "anybody," but that seemed even meaner to me. She just strikes me as the most vulgar, self-promoting person in an internet full of vulgar self-promoters, and whenever she pops up in something I'm watching or reading, it grates on my nerves. But I suppose…

Is it mean that I can't understand how so many people had sex with Kris Jenner without using protection?

I'd love to hear her explain what her "thought process" was, and what she is trying to say by performing (fake) fellatio on someone dressed as Bill Clinton. Because she's so PROVOCATIVE and all. I'd especially enjoy hearing her explain it in her flat, nasal whine.

No. No. No way. Billy Ray, you are neither interesting nor sexy. You are just a cheeseball huckster who leeches off his daughter's porn-inspired notoriety.

I was a child when Roe v Wade was passed, went to Catholic school, and remember the fire and brimstone sermons about "baby killers." My mother explained to me the inherent unfairness of allowing anyone to infringe on my reproductive rights.

It looks like the Soon Yi picture was a cropped version of one of the shots from Woody's "Nude-Yi" collection.

Her next move: get a job at Sur and join the cast of "Vanderpump Rules."