Wait, what does beautiful women playing soccer have to do with getting completely wreck on alcohol? Sure you got beautiful women, clearly his number two priority but it missing his number one. 

He also had this great quote:

Steelers fans like him again now

I still have my email from Jezebel from 2010 where the editor wrote, “Thanks for your story, but what happened to you was so long ago … blah blah blah.” I wasn’t raped by Harvey Weinstein, but I was sexually solicited, emotionally battered, had my job record falsified, was fired and blackballed from NBC by a major…

They need to just steer into the skid and sign Terrell Owens.

How much money did this guy lose by not signing with a major brand like Nike or Adidas? His Dad may have helped get him to the NBA but he really screwed him with this whole Big Baller Brand fiasco.

As a Chargers fan, that was especially galling. They had the wherewithal to come up with an innovative defensive scheme against a rookie QB who was known more for his running than passing, then tried to use the EXACT same scheme against an immobile QB who is one of the most accurate, efficient throwers in NFL history. 

I was a St. Louis Rams fan that gave up on them 10 years before it was cool to give up on them.

Mark my words: If there isn’t a “Saints got robbed!” chant at the first Home Game, I’ll Bayou a steak dinner.

Saints fans will continue flood the NFL offices with their grievances 

Anxiously awaiting the flood of puns that are sure to follow.

my beloved wife was crying her eyes out in the bedroom because she’s a Colts fan

Wow these fans are ready to levee war on NFL officials.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

“Sure, we could have demanded he pay us the money back. But that didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Andrew was more than just our quarterback, he was the person we rallied around after we let Peyton Manning go He brought us together: our present, our future and our glorious past. From our point of view, he helped…

Wonder if “screwing over his fantasy team” rates between “screwing his ex-wife” and “taking his memorabilia” on the OJ vengeance scale.

I grew up outside of Philly and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

Wow, he’s really lucky, because, while they take drug offenses super-seriously in New Hampshire, they recently repealed the death penalty. Not only that, but hanging was still on the books in NH as one of the possible means of execution, until earlier this year! So, he won’t have to worry about mobs of people…

+1 Best Kinja-supplied WYTS idea yet

And most (all?) of John Waters’ films.