"Yesterday was a rough one for the former Patriots tight end."

Probably not as rough as for the handcuffed guy.

Did MLB Rig Its Own Stupid Contest?

This behavior is just WAC

"He is stupidest man in the history of the world."

*as the javelin.

American Ski Pole Karen Carpenter Not Eating It

I'd get her on her back so fast, she'll never know what happened!

Big whoop. My wife's been carrying my balls for years.

"I was tweeted many angry things in a language I don't understand."

Except he seems to be hinting at static stretching which is absolutely terrible for warm-ups.

Perhaps a collaborative effort is in order. For example, Hansen could try to pop and lock it and Kennedy could just fucking drop it.

Santorum is sure to say this will lead to Bear on Dolphin sex. They still haven't come to terms with Patriots loving on Browns.

The Vikings fired Chris Kluwe again just to be on the safe side, though.

NFL scouts instantly breathed a sigh of relief knowing they'd never have to worry about the authenticity of Sam's girlfriends.

People are making a big deal out of this because it's literally never happened before.

The Superbowl MVP tweeted his support too -

You see Clever. I see Willie Mays Hayes.

Saying "Robbed by refs" to a discussion that involves the Seahawks. Cool story bro. (see Super Bowl XL)

As a 49ers fan, I have to say: Shut the fuck up! That's why we have such terrible reputations. I might be the only Niners fan who thinks the team is capable of losing without being robbed by the refs.