I was in costume Sat night. Maleficent inspired. full on Halloween zombie face make-up. at a concert. cute guy in front of me (non-costumed) turns around, looks at me, puts his hand behind my neck, and starts making out with me. awesome.

I kind of wish Christmas was more like Halloween.

we should get the day AFTER Halloween off. for recovery. that would be perfect.

if she says no, call me.

then she probably lost them because they were super tiny. like gumballs.

on a date where you're clearly just not that into him?

otherwise known as my ex-boyfriend

that pretty much makes light beer your gay husband

I hope they're pretending to treat this like a hoax while actually investigating it as rape. you know, like they would do if this were a Law & Order episode, which in retrospect I wish it was.

and I want the rest of the costume that goes with the makeup please

yeah I had a guy tell me not to tell people that I had a masters degree (whenever the subject of education came up) because guys find to too intimidating and I would never get a date. because of smarts. yeah. (and it's just a masters degree, not like two PhD's or anything like that)

man I am SO glad I don't watch TV

pfft. the garlic mashed potato recipe has too many steps for tour bus cooking. seriously - who's gonna clean up all those dirty gold bowls!

should we be looking for a missing person perhaps wrapped in a mattress cover? just curious.

My wedding planning consisted of the following sentence to my fiance, "you pick the date, the time and the place. I'll buy the dress and I'll be there." that's it. perfect wedding.

whoa!!! this explains something!! I was pulled over one night because a guy was tailgating me. the cop said that a person that's trying to hide something "from the law" will have someone tailgate them so that the cops can't see their (the lead car's) tag. seriously. I got pulled over becuase the cop couldn't run my…

I knew a guy whose dad was a soybean farmer and roundup ready soybean seeds were the best thing ever for this farmer.

I read half way thru your post and thought "yeah she has no kids".

tan mom is looking kinda pale.

one day I hope to be rich enough to do something like this for someone