For real. I hope Ray Rice can change, but I also hope Janay doesn't stick around to see it. There are just some things in life that demand zero tolerance. Violence from an intimate partner is one of those things. If you don't get out after the first hit, it will only get harder (and more dangerous) with each…

Yo, yo yo! Bitches be cravin' drama, amiright!

Thank god, you don't have any sort of gender bias as a first responder. Because only women with children could be worth intervention. Men don't ever start abuse and then blame it on the ladies when male cops show up. I mean, that's impossible, right?

Yes, I agree. A short while after I typed this I realized I shouldn't detract from the main point of the article. I unfortunately missed the edit time window. That's my fault.

But, as someone who knows and taught Janay Palmer-Rice and Ray Rice, I'm convinced that you're probably wrong to superimpose your template on them. (I am not currently close to either of them, though I know many who are.)

First, know that everything you are feeling is valid. Do not feel bad or guilty. This is what so many friends and family members of victims go through, and it's tough because part of what abusers do is push other people away. They want the victim to be isolated.

This is why breaking the cycle is so hard. How do you…

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond and share what you know. I really appreciate that. Every couple, every situation is unique, but the research shows most abuse cases aren't isolated. Still, deeply and truly I hope Ray and Janay Rice beat those odds and go on to have a long, healthy and supportive…

This is a great read. I've wonder the same thing. This is always and forever about Ray Rice and never about Janay. It also hits home for me.

I lived with my friend for two years, 1.5 of which she was in an abusive relationship, and while I knew her boyfriend was emotionally abusive and helped her get out, I didn't know he was physically abusive until well after their relationship, when she felt safe enough to tell me. I was in the house when he hit her…

And you don't wanna hear about the DV case where the court recessed so that the couple in question could go get a marriage license, and then came back and the judge married them, made a joke about how he couldn't sentence in other case but (in) effect sentenced the guy to life anyway (ol' ball and chain, ya know?…

I just want to say how impressed I am by Deadspin's coverage of this whole thing. Just beyond impressed.

Bullshit. If he'd never hit her before, he would've reacted to the fact that he knocked her unconscious like, I don't know, a man who had never punched his girlfriend would react. Not stand there like it was nbd, kick her legs out of the way of the door, and then drag her around like a sack of fucking potatoes.

Re-posted from a response of mine to an article on DeadSpin, w/ edits:

I just want to say that I agree with everything you've said, except there's gotta be a better way to acknowledge that abuse victims are often severely financially dependent on their abusers, without saying that they're staying for the money.

There are a multitude of excruciating factors that make leaving damn near…

Wow. For a guy who doesn't have some serious issues with how he treats women, he sure seemed non-plussed after knocking her out with one punch.

uh huh, pull the other, it's got bells on. That's not possible and Ray is making a liar out of you.

In that respect, (and only that respect,) it's a shame that Ray Rice was suspended indefinitely and might never play another down in the NFL. Without the spotlight of celebrity, the next time he beats the hell out of Janay might go unnoticed.

Thank you for this, it is very insightful and very good work. If anything this whole incident has shed light on the largely-ignored domestic violence problem in this country.

If Kem K will get pregnant again, Kris will have press conference all news media outlets before implantation will happen.

Same. I can't remember how I came across Luther, but I binge-watched the entire show. I knew I should have rationed it better, but it was just so good. Really creepy, too. Never has a detective show had a horror movie effect on me. That episode with the man under the bed really freaked me out.

the face Idris makes when talking about wearing a three piece suit to the Met, ohhhh boy. And when he swings his walking stick thing. Hee.