Now I’m plagued by visions of Rodgers actually spending a day licking everything in the locker room.

I’m a Falcons fan and HOLY HELL WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. I’M IN THE MOST GLORIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL DREAM OF MY LIFE AND I CAN’T WAKE UP. AND I DON’T THINK I WANT TO.

I’ll start the flu takes-

Me when I think about Trump’s wardrobe:

I’m gonna need a chart -and a mop, for the exploded brains

WHY NOT BOTH

Everything about him is bizarre. He was raised Jewish, but converted to Mormonism in college. His father was Jewish, but his mother was Christian Scientist who converted to Mormonism. His father’s first wife (and mother of Jacob’s half brother) is Kitty Dukakis, wife of Michael Dukaki. Jason was the Utah co-chair…

FUCK THIS GUY. I’m intoxicated and pissed off, though not entirely coherent. So, FUCK THIS GUY, the fucking fuck.

UGH

Look at his stupid face.

Hillary is such a class act.

He is a petty asshole. Fuck him. Shake her goddamn hand and say he’s still going after her.

Get. Her. Name. Out. Of. Your. Mouth. And. Off. Your. Fingertips. (Not you, Brendan. The slimy rat fuck)

1) OOH! INSPECTOR CHAFFETZ IS ON THE CASE! SOMEONE GET HIM HIS DEERSTALKER, PIPE, AND MAGNIFYING GLASS!

FUUUUUUCK THAT GUY

I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t really expect anything less from someone whose Instagram name is derived from a failed Disney channel spin-off.

You’re not me.