I’m here for it. Just please, please PLEASE don’t allow that new voting final to happen again. Shangela was robbed.

LATRICE OR MONET FTW!

This is my favorite episode! We had a bat at work one day and no one got my Office jokes. :(

I haven’t posted in almost two years!

Imma let you finish but OG Salem is the best.

Oh, gosh. Now I’m worried for you Rebecca and what will happen when you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory.

Never go to Pompeii on Volcano Day.

My BFF is a funeral director, and childless. When someone asks her this question, usually an older relative, she asks in the sweetest voice, when are you planning on dying. 

“I’m with her” triggering Kanye’s daddy issues has got to be the most ridiculous shit I’ve heard in a minute.

The Liam Neeson horse thing is so cute-- like it’s cute if the horse *actually* remembers him from before and it’s cute if he doesn’t but Liam is walking around thinking that a horse remembers him. 

Doesn’t even have 1/1000 the charm.

That’ll just encourage middle-aged children to have sex.

The Beastie Boys.

“The very rude elevator screamers are paid professionals only looking to make Senators look bad. Don’t fall for it! Also, look at all of the professionally made identical signs. Paid for by Soros and others. These are not signs made in the basement from love! #Troublemakers”

In an abstract sense I would love a threesome with Chrissy Teigen and John Legend but only if a threesome is when three people hug and say encouraging things and then have snacks. The two of them can have sex and I'll tidy up the snack area but I don't think I'd be bringing anything to the table by participating.

Instead of a threesome, I'd rather just play that fun drinking game "the devil's triangle" everyone is talking about. I have to watch it, too much beer and I get gassy. I heard the kids call it boofing these days.

Well, have you tried?  I mean, really put some effort into it?

When he said he would not write about the Kardashians again, that mofo meant it as he was already shopping his resume around at that time probably. BOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYY!

This photo is totally inappropriate. Please don’t share pap images of children.