I love him, but I'm fairly certain Bill Clinton has never opted out of one bang in his entire life.

Are we sharing similarly ridiculous stories?

They learned that it's easy to get rich by fooling rubes into thinking you're "one of them."

From Slate:

BUT WHAT ABOUT FREEZE PEACH OKAY YOU'RE JUST NOT RESPECTING DUCKMAN'S FREEZE PEACH

What's leftover vodka?

MY WORKOUT! HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Speaking of Justin Beieber, check out my Godson's Christmas gift!

No, Christmas doesn't have any oil, but Hannukah does —- and it's magic.

It has come to my attention that there are very attractive people still using chatroulette... Interesting...

I subbed to him after Wrecking Ball, how did I miss this?

A) Mariah Carey pretty much reached goddess level in my mind when she managed to write that song and turn it into the most delightful classic Christmas tune. And I don't even like Christmas!

The dudes at 1:04 that start doing the back-up singers part? I want to squeeze them so hard.

I've already watched this like 5 times today. I'm madly, unabashedly in love with Steve Kardynal. #noshameinmygame

I would argue that it's second to "Last Christmas" by WHAM, but point taken.

That was delightful. And proof that "All I Want for Christmas is You" is the best GODDAMN CHRISTMAS SONG OF ALL TIME.

That made me smile so hard my face hurts.

It's aspecific for a reason. My friends and I are unable to meet up for Christmas, so we're doing our gift exchange on New Year's. Therefore, we all purchased holiday gifts. Be less Right-wing, perhaps?

No one is going to war with Christmas. Christmas doesn't have any oil.

Yup. Obvious.