The Beav actually getting fired gave him a heart attack, didn’t it?

I thought he was just paying homage to Jerry Lewis.

I AGREE!

How come we haven’t started speculation on which terrible QB is coming in? Peterman and Manziel are fun... Tebow would be hilarious. It’s a shame Osweiller is with the Dolphins, and re-signing RG3 would have been (chef’s kiss).

Ohio State is left in the capable hands of Rural Hormel.

THANK YOU! I was dying to know the story behind that score, and no one could tell it like the Assmaster.

Sorry, guy—the Lions just didn’t ass it up enough this week. Fortunately, this Sunday is another day to ass away.

Which one of you Jamokes has got Nathan Peterman’s phone number?

Well, there’s been some debate over this—if the Skins called Kaep up and he turned them down, would that effectively kill his lawsuit over being blackballed?

This seems rigged.

Not a chance in hell. Danny boy loves him some Trump.

Mark Brunell wasn’t in playing shape the last time he was in Washington. That was a painful, bitter end.

Someone oughta do something about all this cuddling in the NHL—it’s ruining the sport!

You know when I wok alone, baby, I prefer to be by myself. 

You know when I wok alone, baby, I prefer to be by myself. 

As an Ex-Skins fan who rues the day Daniel Snyder bought the team and is steamed at their winning record this year, I am further aggrieved that this is the second time one of their opponents had the Ass Team distinction this year.

“more exciting in conception than execution.”

“...the wake of the film’s hellbent mission to reshape the franchise into airport-paperback mass marketability.”

I was honestly dumbfounded by Wisconsin burrata; the best I’d had outside of Italy.

I normally watch NFL games with the volume on mute (e.g., at a bar), but today the sound was on for the Rams/Saints brawl and... Wow. Aikman in particular is so fucking painful to listen to. If that is considered color commentary, it’s puke green. I muted the TV after two minutes.

Also, I’m not tired of seeing all those dildos flying at the Patriots. The sophomoric hijinks of Bills fans are such a guilty delight.