I live in a very suburban place, and I have noticed that in the most popular local chain restaurants, ALL the salads come with meat on them — or at the very least, absolutely crippling amounts of cheese. It's really sad that so many middle Americans consider vegetables a nonessential side item. I'm not vegetarian, but…

Goddmamnit. I took an extra contracting job solely so we would have money to buy a new couch. We have never ever owned a couch that wasn't a secondhand broken-down piece of shit. I got my check and had the couch all picked out. Now Mr L's car is doing very disturbing things, and we're going to have to fix it, and…

Ask for advice at a makeup counter or Sephora. I picked the wrong lip colors for years (and never wore it because it looked horrible) because I didn't know I needed to be wearing purply colors. My favorite, and the only one I really wear regularly, is Clinique Black Honey Almost Lipstick. It's a sheerish color so it…

You're not a freak. :)

Back on the horse, lol! This is our second. We actually had hardly any sex for a full year the last time, since I wasn't interested while pregnant and sex while breastfeeding was terrible: my breasts would leak milk all over him, which turned him off, and I was dry as a bone so we had to use gallons of lube. I have a…

Were any of the women pregnant? I have been giving myself a hand pretty much every day since I got knocked up. Sometimes twice. But I'm not super interested in actual sex because it's awkward and uncomfortable (for me) with the belly. I prefer to just wank in peace.

Oooh, ooh, Jemaine Clement! Because he has a lovely voice and eyebrows and he wiggles his very broad shoulders when he dances. Also because I imagine that I would constantly fall out of his bed laughing.

There was definitely some giggling on my part, though stifled. :)

Yeah, little girls too! My niece has a "special" Elmo with whom she has special times every nap. She will actually remove her pants if they are not stretchy enough for a full range of motion. :)

Please don't feel like a loser! Pain is a serious thing and not something you have to "tough out." I beat myself up for quite a while because I couldn't hack natural childbirth and had to request an epidural after 16 hours of unmedicated back labor. And I am usually pretty tough. There is something about uterus pain…

My three-year-old has apparently discovered masturbation. Or at least, he's discovered that when he lies on his tummy with no underpants on and kind of humps or rubs, his penis sticks out. And then he jumps up and laughs like crazy and says "Mommy, look! My penis is sticking out!" I'm not sure what my response to this…

She's the best. I always feel that would make a great Halloween costume, except I'm not Asian and no one would get it anyway.

I hardly ever get strangers touching my belly, but I do get that question a lot. And if I answer it, I get grilled about the name. I don't mind telling the sex but we are keeping the name secret, even from strangers, and people always get kind of butthurt when I don't tell them!

The fuck you say about Chinese women?

I had to fly last week, and I went through the naked machine (thank you, I never knew what to call it). I'm pregnant and I was thinking it must be weird to see a pregnant semi-naked image. I'm with you, though, I could care less who sees me naked. I actually wouldn't much care if any random individual on the street…

I think underwear modeling always strikes me as somewhat ridiculous because when I'm wearing just underwear, I'm doing completely boring things (brushing teeth, applying deodorant, ironing clothes to wear immediately). For sexytimes I just get naked immediately, and for years I've been with a completely nonvisual…

Gisele, those are three ridiculous underpants poses.

For a while I had a huge problem with Taras. Seems like there were at least two in each class, and one insisted on TARE-ah while the other was TAR-ah and fuck me if I could remember which was which. The cohort of Taras seems to have aged out of college, though, at least in this area; I haven't had many in the past few…

Also: incredibly sweet Middle Eastern coffee, and Southeast Asian iced coffee with sweetened condensed milk (of which I thoroughly approve!). Different strokes for different folks!

No, Mr. L is like this. He really missed his calling as some kind of private investigator: he has an uncanny ability to remember the name and face of everyone he's ever met, and then recognize them in an instant, years later. We were once at a party, with friends of friends so we knew hardly anyone, and he recognized…