No whore can compare to the Gummi Venus de Milo. The rarest gummi of them all, it was carved by gummi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of gummi.

Really? There are people out there who actually crave the tasty of chalky sticky not-really-chocolate? I always think of them as the cheap candy of last resort, ie filling the favor bags from a one-year-old's birthday party that I am ruthlessly rifling now that my kid is asleep.

I already know that they are sea cockroaches that eat rotting flesh from the ocean floor. I'm ok with that as long as I don't have to see their legs waving around!

Oh, I am a total whore for anything gummy! I'll eat those!

I am totally not ok with live lobsters. Not because I can't deal with the idea that animals die so I can eat, but because it would require touching an enormous living insect.

Tootsie Rolls: a terrible candy, or the WORST candy?

Making myself a lobster tail from the grocery store. I don't expect this to be the best lobster ever, but this is my first time preparing it myself. They really are just giant bugs, aren't they?

I get frustrated because the dialogue on Thomas is so shit, and every episode is the same: Thomas makes a bad decision, Sir Topham Hat gets mildly mad, Thomas makes it right. Although if we're talking about the modern computer-animated ones, at least they have plots: the old-school English live-action model ones were…

I fucking HATE people who stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk. There is no excuse for that. PULL OVER if you need to take a picture or look at your map or suddenly do something intense with your phone. I'm a native San Diegan but I think New Yorkers have the correct attitude about this, ie, FUCK YOU I'M WALKING…

I don't understand people who get deeply involved in celebrities, either good or bad. It's just such a weird exercise. I barely have enough time and energy to stay up to date on the lives of people I know and like IRL; I can't imagine putting energy into hating some person I will never meet and will only "know" as…

IMO the only thing you're doing wrong is reading mommy blogs. :) Moms generate enough guilt on their own; you don't need to read a lot of self-righteous crap from people who think they're perfect parents. I find the less of that stuff I read, the better.

I was on various birth control pills for more than 10 years and I never noticed weight gain as a side effect. I did gain weight (and lose it) during that time, but it never seemed connected to the pills. I generally tolerate hormonal birth control well so I never had any serious issues. I did find that, after going…

Entertainment Weekly (what?? My husband subscribes!) has an article on Matt LeBlanc and I have to say, he comes across very well: super funny and down to earth and very likable. I actually never watched much of Friends because I was living in a hippie zone with no TV while it was on, but he seems like a truly nice guy.

My 3-year-old son loves this show. And I'm happy to have him watch a show with a female character as opposed to Jake and the Neverland Pirates, which, ok, has a female pirate Izzy. But the 3 pirates all have a specific object. Jake has a sword (weapon!). Cubby has a map (knowledge!). Izzy has fucking pixie dust.…

Why do butt pimples hurt so much more than face pimples? Is it because you sit on them all day? Ouch ouch ouch.

Thank you, I figured there had to be a good reason that I wasn't aware of.

It's a good point. Why not use chamberpots inside and take them outside to empty? Obviously everyone deserves a sanitary, private toilet, but peeing in a pot indoors would be preferable to just popping a squat in a field.

URINETOWN WAS NONFICTION!

Ohhhh! I had an image of all the writers just working from their apartments. Well, you all look very posh, based on your shoes.

But there's a big difference between making the personal decision to dress in a way to try to control other people's reactions to you (ie not showing tit in a semi-professional setting, like class) and deciding *for other people* what is inappropriate. I dress semi-professionally to teach because I feel more…