Making our country safer through the exclusion of a racially profiled religious group AND a third baseman who can’t fucking call a cab. Great. Just fucking great.

I’ve been through the worst.

Hold out for a better deal. They should pay you much more than $39 to see 11 April White Sox games.

<phone rings>

What’s up with the “everyone leave the dugout and meet him at the plate” bullshit like it’s a walkoff homer?

Puto is the bottom in a male homosexual relationship.

Everyone. This happens constantly, and it’s particularly bad in hockey. It’s awful. The worst instance, though, is probably when FOX didn’t show the only pickoff to end a WS game in history because they were zooming in on people’s emotions in the stands.

It’s interesting that Basketball was the first of the 4 North American sports to do this. Basketball is the sport that relies on the hype the most, and I bet it provided the starkest difference. I mean basketball does the gimmicks during the run of play. At least the other sports respect you enough to wait until a…

What kind of idiot director does the “cut to a closeup of the guy who just scored” when there’s four seconds left in the game???

Shit.

Can someone help this young man? He seems to be suffering from amnesia.

People who say “Woke” describing someone or “BAE” sound childish, let’s also forget the annoying # trend. Hopefully these trends end the same way people bought pet rocks.

Or just saw the cops laying the spike strip and decided something amusing was about to happen.

I was wondering why/how they knew to be recording right there,actually.

Your prize may literally be more valuable

This. The whole speech became instantly invalid the moment she said that.

In the Yankees’ sleep room, everyone receives a gift basket when they wake up and leave

You seem fun.

Can’t say the same for Miguel Cabrera, though.