Who gives a fuck about your abs if you can't lift that car that's currently crushing your wife and infant child to death?

So when your child turns 2 or so then we can go back to trying for a six pack?

“Except a colored woman of course.”

I don’t like basketball all that much. But I love listening to him and Jackson. And I’m an atheist. (Jackson is crazy into God)

No offense but it really doesn't sound like your dad put too much effort into research with the 10/10/80 line.

It is dangerous to be a cop. Just like its dangerous to be a construction worker. Just because statistically there are more dangerous professions, doesn't mean being a cop isn't dangerous.

There's a reason so few of the policemen who kill are punished, just as there's a reason why Darren Wilson, Daniel Pantaleo, and even neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman were exalted by many as heroes after killing unarmed minorities.

In the NFL, though, if you can help a team win, you’ll find a team to play for after your punishment has served the league’s public relations purposes.

I will never understand why the NCAA and NFL don’t do it like the NHL. Have a 15-year-old kid in Toronto that knows how to press rewind, pause and frame by frame and go from there. You can’t have the guys that originally fucked it up have a chance to keep their original call. Also, there won’t be 15k screaming fans.

Ut…

Its a fine joke but its actually sorta true.
I saw something in a police station...where there was a poster of an older (50 soemthing) year old guy in jail who was working out and jacked. It said, "Are you staying in shape? He is."

Well I think they need some women in the FBI for logistic purposes. Like getting me coffee or something.

How old are you? 9 minutes isn't that slow. I mean I'm 43 and probably can run a mile in 9 minutes if I had 2-3 weeks of training. But 9 minutes isn't that bad for anyone 35 and up.

Aaron Hernandez would have had to have been pretty fucking dumb to get caught.

I'm glad you don't want me dead!

I don't think Flair was a Horesman. I think he led them. Though I wouldn't bet my life on that.

I know this isn’t PC, but if they are trying to look tough it sorta failed. Which is hard to do considering how big they are. Seems a little gay? And not in the socially acceptable men having sex with men gay. Just gay.

You and me are the only people that remember that play. And my friend George.

Yeah but even less people remember the Brosious fuckup. 1st and 2nd, and they bunt it to Mo. He fields it, throws to third and Brosious has all day to go to first and just holds onto the ball like that pitcher in BNB.

Had Buckner fielded that ball and beat Mookie to the bag (not sure he would have), then the Mets would have won in the 11th. The Sox already blew that game.

Gretzky missed the giveaway. Its his fault.

I can beat their worst white bench player in one on one. Book the game.