“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, who can say, really, both sides have very good points”

How do you make through fucking HIGH SCHOOL without having read it??

A Tale of Two Cities was required reading in my public high school. How did he manage to get through some fancy prep school without having to read that book?

I just drew up a very fun Dynasty-esque scenario with Melania in a very 80s beaded gown holding a flute of champagne lounging at the entrance of the East Wing, blocking Ivanka’s way (in Krystal Carrington cosplay).

Great. Fuck ‘em both. In my dreams, this ends like Death Becomes Her with the two of them continually disfiguring each other and then spackling themselves back together.

Another Trump fraudster. Harvard student? No. Fashion model? More like PR placement. Pro skater? Where? Poet? More like bad lyricist - to be charitable. Religious Jew? They really don’t intermarry, so even that doesn’t check out.

I will support that candidate, because what’s most important is that Trump be defeated.

That’s an unusual place to keep them.

I know in my brain that all of the crimes that Trump has committed will never matter to his supporters, but this pettiness from his longtime personal lawyer - I am here for it.

I have a yeast dough recipe for pizza crusts that takes literally 45 minutes to rise to perfect yeasty goodness.  Takes 8 minutes in the stand mixer to knead it and develop all of the glutenny texture.  Result?  My kid can ask for pizza on the drive home, and we can be eating the pizza in under 90 minutes.  Yes, I…

The benefit of a stand mixer starts to change once you get attachments. We grind our own meat—and while I’m not ever going to make my own sausages, the meat grinding attachment came with the attachments to make sausages as well.

I can’t make zoodles out of 4 zucchini in less than 5 minutes with a hand mixer.

You’re wrong ... stand mixers are amazing. I make pulled pork/chicken with them, homemade whipped cream, cakes, sauces, lots of other things.

Democratic rule of thumb: in the absence of any other info, vote for the person who is defending your right to fucking vote.

Wow! Great idea! They should include the instructions to reheat taco shells on the box they come in or something...

“unless you have the diet of a native Alaskan, you need some UV to avoid rickets/osteomalacia”

I remain stunned that there are people who cannot manage to use a shot glass of sunscreen to cover their entire body. WTF are these people doing? I use that much on my arms.

Schnatter is the Papa John's Pizza of humans.

Is this 1930? Milton merged with Fulton in 1931 when the country club set ran out of money, those racist pricks wish they were still on their own. Perhaps you meant the city of Milton, which is comprised of most of the remnants of the county