Would love to stand center ice and just watch as a rainstorm of friendly teddy bears rain over me.

Everything about these make sense and confirm there are things right with the world.

This is a shame because Philadelphia fans are generally such a pleasant lot who just can’t catch a break despite years of loyal and kindhearted devotion to their hometown teams.

You are trying so so hard that I’m going to reply: stop trolling. This is weak and obvious and frankly kind of sad. You seem angry and I promise that if you go outside and go for a walk you’ll feel a lot better after it than you ever will with this. Even if you manage to piss off or offend somebody on here and get a…

By the way, on Saturday, Cadet Simone Askew will make history:

There are no cars that “take all the damage in an accident.” The brain has room to rattle around inside the skull, and no matter what you put around the outside of the head, absorbing a lot of force (from colliding with either a car or a linebacker) is going to make it rattle.

I’m just going to leave this here

Does this look ridiculous and kind of terrible? Yes. Will I still see it in theaters? Absolutely.

Against my own fashion snob inclinations I bit the bullet and bought ugg snow boots last year and they are now the most comfortable thing I own. I seriously look forward to the winter so that I can wear these babies.

$38,500 annual salary for a cop doesn’t seem like very much.

That quote is some dirty fucking pool.

“It’s rude of me to do this, but I’m going to ask that you both watch and listen to this clip of Donald Trump giving a speech today”

He’s 71 years old, eats fast food every day, thinks exercise is unhealthy, was never too smart to begin with, and has the most stressful job in the world. His body’s gonna start failing him sooner rather than later

Oh christ, are you kidding me. Do you see the way that asshole likes his steaks cooked? His coke is probably cut with crushed up Necco Wafers

Clean and sober minus the 8-year amphetamine prescription.

“gwab dem by da pussthy”

This is not a new thought, but for a guy that never drinks, he sounds way too much like I did trying to make sense at 7am after a night of drugging my balls off.
The clogged nasal breathing, the dry mouth, the not-having-a-fucking-clue. All of it.

Even his teeth are like GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.