It’s been well-established that Mia Farrow’s ex-husband, Frank Sinatra, is Ronan’s father, not Woody Allen. I’d say one look at him corroborates that. Let’s not insult the man.

Thanks. I guess I’ll just wrap it around my neck about three times.

This is a knitted scarf that I.just need to bind off. This is 5" wide, but it’s 70” long, which seems a little excessive.

I know a man who actually told me he “took” a wife.

Was that in North Omaha? I remember that place. Awful.

implants and veneers

Nachos baked in the oven with REAL CHEESE.

Do you use tahini? It's kind of essential if you want to make good hummus.

I have a 24-year-old spongebaby. I loved those things and thought it was such a clever form of birth control: barrier + spermacide.

I've had very thin hair for the past 10 years (I'm in my early 50s. I think it was caused by my hysterectomy). I use a product called Toppik to fill in the whole top of my head. It's a powder/fiber that I mist on using an applicator. I can't imagine how my self-esteem would suffer if I didn't use this stuff. I also…

Vivienne Westwood's teeth are dreadful.

Matt Lauer has terrible posture. When he's seated in one of those director's chairs, he hunches over like an arthritic old man. Somebody who makes $25 million a year should at least make an effort to sit up straight while interviewing a cardinal at the Vatican.

Oh, and Ken Jennings, of course.

Jeopardy! fans are up in arms about the prospect of Matt Lauer hosting. I got on their message boards a few days ago because I disagreed with the final question, and there was post after post of fans saying they'd quit watching if Lauer took over. John O'Hurley of Seinfelt and The National Dog Show seemed to be a…

Bullshit. That's just the most contrived excuse for a story. No way, sorry, I don't buy it. "This is how we feed? Animals!!!" That doesn't even sound like English!