Cena would be a decent understudy, but Duke makes for a big Roland, so you need somebody even more imposing as Brick. Besides, we’ve had enough of Johnson playing charismatic tough guys with a heart of gold. I wanna see his take on a total lunkhead with poor impulse control and a heart of gold. As for Cena, I’d like…

Emma Stone, Winston Duke, Diego Luna, Dwayne Johnson. There’s your vault hunters. If you can’t get Stone, get Karen Gillen and fully embrace the Jumanji On Meth vibe. Give Cate Blanchett some makeup and a CG arm and let her play Helena Pierce if you insist on casting her in the movie.

Moon and Source Code were directed by Zowie Bowie, right?

Gizmodo once blamed Apple for not shipping laptops three months before Intel shipped their CPUs. Recently-resigned Jason Schreier is openly contemptuous of Xbox on his personal Twitter feed. And here’s Jalopnik throwing a tantrum over a distorted photo of a perfectly fine BMW front end because they didn’t preserve the…

In other words, it’s not actually an Epic Games Store exclusive, and Kotaku has repeated Epic’s lie instead of correcting or challenging it. As they’ve done with every game Epic has paid to keep away from Steam while allowing sales on other stores. From the day Metro Exodus arrived on the Microsoft Store for Game Pass…

Every G/O Media blog based on goods and services has, as an editorial mandate, one Great Satan corporation that must be mired in controversy at all times, no matter how much work the writers have to do to manufacture one. Gizmodo has Apple, Kotaku has Microsoft and Valve, and Jalopnik has BMW.

That’s what killed my interest. Blizzard let Comp swallow Quick Play and turned it into Comp Without Rankings But Still Serious Fucking Business, So Go Back To Arcade You Filthy Casual mode. Bring back QP Classic and don’t put it in the Arcade, add hero pools to New QP and call it something like “Unranked Comp” or…

Except for the whole “making their own” streaming service part.* Publishers are pitching a fit because they can’t just skim off the top of Nvidia’s streaming fees for zero effort, even though Nvidia’s customers can only stream what they’ve already paid for on another service.

You’ll know Audi has lost its way when they stop using the quattro Group B rally car as an inspiration. Until then, prepare for the Michèle Mouton pull quotes when the RS3 variant of this generation is revealed.

What is the total drag force in pounds acting on a Porsche Taycan Turbo driving at 75 mph (33.53 m/s), given that the Taycan’s drag coefficient is 0.22, its frontal area is 25.1 square feet (2.33 m^2), and ambient air density is 1.225 kg/m^3. (1N is 0.225 pounds)?

Hey, remember when NFL Network used the title line from the chorus in promos without realizing the song was about living in a village too pissant to be a target in a nuclear holocaust? Good times, good times…

10 years ago, we got 50 MPG from impractical, experimental oddball hybrids and European subcompacts rated on different test cycles that would never sell outside of New York City.

Jalopnik commentariat: “Nobody tries anything different.”

I have to go off the board for the donut I had for breakfast, so the winner is: A fast, rusty, Finnish (build by Valmet?) city van with an absurd RF layout and a (probably turbo) flat-3 engine. And since I rolled “word spelled weird”, we’ll call it the Plytypys, because it looks like it was put together all wrong and…

Speaking of the NB Mazda Miata, I may never drive one because with my foot on the gas, my thigh presses against the steering wheel and there’s no room to turn my knee to the side. I would be totally boned if I had bought one without having a chance to at least try to sit in one first.

Jimmy Johnson was hilariously bad. He even started a few laps down because he couldn’t log on. 

The complete absence of manufacturer interfaces (UConnect, iDrive, Entune, etc.) gives away the con. “Automotive touchscreen interfaces” don’t make news, Apple and (to a lesser extent) Google do.

Chris Bangle saw the Z-pattern in the doors and wept for joy.

[Everyone in Atlanta disliked that.]