And those are the easiest five chords you could ever learn (aside from tuning to drop D and just playing power chords). Anyone who spent fifteen minutes picking out a guitar with decent action and who doesn’t have the butter-soft bones and muscles of an inbred royal would be able to master them within a few weeks.

Wade didn’t commit any acts of “self-sacrificing loyalty.” He left money on the table in exchange for rings.

Well that’s going to be good for basketball, in the same way that knowing Bruce Willis is actually dead makes watching the Sixth Sense more enjoyable.

I don’t have any theories about this flick’s performance other than to say this:

Well I’m a Blazer fan, so fuck this question.

That projection looks optimistic.

Also a ball hit 450 feet (over the fence) is worth more than one hit 300 feet (not over the fence)... so the homerun is already screwing up his analogy.

Serves you right for commenting on a sport you didn’t play for 30 years. The fuck were you thinking?

ESPN’s “omudsman” kind of addressed this in a column the other day. Analysts and former players are not journos, so generally not expected to live up to journalistic standards, per se.

You are, in fact, being that guy

Since this is the Browns, I half expected to hear that they hired Jonah Hill.

Let's not get crazy.

Ryan Howard can’t hear your burns, Marchman. He’s too busy counting the money from his $125 million contract.

Am I the only one who feels like quite a few of these are stretching the definition of “science fiction and fantasy”?

It’s not really a big deal that 1500 people stayed after the game. They had to wait for their dad to shower, meet with the media and impregnate his wife before they could go home.

ODB is a big baby, jesus.

I think its hilarious, that you are hating on people for drinking a beverage for taste and quality while advocating that they should drink it for the purpose of imparing judgement and reducing intelligence. And you tried to make it sound all cool too.

So demotion just means no prime time? So, really, because they proved incompetent in their job, the punishment is really for a different pair of teams to have to play around bad officiating?

Christ, watching that slow-mo Vine is painful.

Those Denver uniforms are an abomination in the eyes of God.