I didn’t think the CIA had it in them to be so salty. Bless.

Every time a man puts a my little pony in a jar and jizzes into that jar for months, an angel catches on fire and dies.

My last go around was a few years ago in Telkeetna, Alaska, in a Cessna 172. Runway incursion was a bear.

The comments for this post suck hairy beanbags.

Yes. Because no computer has ever crashed an airplane. Except for a few Airbuses, here and the. Otherwise, it's a perfect record!

If you're referring to Fox, I avoid them even more than CNN.

Jesus. Really, dude?

A *crash* would be a near miss.

That wasn't a near miss. That was a near hit.

Not sure. I try not to watch CNN.

I hereby nominate a successor:

It's just an amazing coincidence that so many diseases/conditions that doctors label "garbage can diagnoses" are virtually always found more often in women.

Really? You wouldn't want to have sex with Mads Mikkelsen, George Clooney, or Viggo Mortensen? Cool, I'll take 'em!

It doesn't surprise me, given the WTF grasp American radicals have of our own culture and history

Oh jesus, reading about Donald Sterling having his feet suck just made me throw up in my mouth. I feel like I need to be deloused.

Hasn't your country suffered enough since we sent you Bieber?

Hey, as a Texan I empathize with you on the Shitty News from Your State thing. It happens. Every place has shitty things going on. Shittiness doesn't care about arbitrary state lines. And don't forget—there's still Florida to make us look good!

People with glass toasters should not throw toast.

Candypants should be her nickname for eternity.

I take a little bit of pause with the "victim of suicide" line. Having had people in my life commit suicide, I find it hard to consider them the "victim". Yes, she was young, and no, she should not have had to endure the heartache she lived through, but no one made her do what she did. Suicide is a horribly tragic…