Haha thanks! Normally when I feel like that I look at my app and I'm like, "Oh look, I am about to start my period. I should probably put this knife down, it's scaring the IT guy."

Actually, I'd like to make the argument that "literally" fits here. You are correct in saying that factually, Apple is not my father. As far as we know. But in this case, Erin is making an intentional logistic fallacy for comedic effect: My dad likes U2 but ignores my period, Apple likes U2 but ignores my period,…

I can't believe nobody has made an app called iBleed

Oh good call. Her writing does exude stoicism like the stink squigles that come off of Pig Pen from Peanuts.

I was going to say Hemingway. She would have sounded exactly like him if she'd talked more about drinks and ended up fucking Miguela.

"I hope you end up with an abusive husband that beats on you every night." Oh, how EMPOWERING of you to say, lady!

I don't even necessarily think second grade is too early for it, but "SURPRISE YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT VAGINAS NOW" really isn't the best way to handle that at all. That's some shit you need to think about how to approach beforehand, as a teacher.

omfg what if they mate?

Since this literally just happened to me and I'm recovering from a c-section after being discharged yesterday, I'm sort of vicariously excited to see what other people went through.

She is actually trying to help you poop like this article is. In essence she's saying: The shit box is not in there. You won't be able to hide your poop! It's not sanitary.

I have fond memories of sitting on the toilet, reading, until my legs fell asleep every time a new Harry Potter book came out. I would also stay in the bath reading until the water got cold.

A great many of my poos come in under 30 seconds. Fiber! Tons of water! And exercise!

(These are the things I use, I mean. I'm not shouting at you to use them, though I do highly recommend them.)

10 minutes? Who are these Einsteins of pooping? If I am on the toilet for less then 30 minutes thats a very short time. Ok I do poop then read books/play on my Nintendo 3DS. Being on the toilet is also so peaceful.

I mean, unless I got somewhere to go, I kinda like taking leisurely poops. Gives me some time to read and think without interruption. How much time do we get anymore where NO ONE is allowed to bother us? If the SO comes looking for me all I have to do is yell, "I'M POOPING. GEEZ." And he'll scuttle away with whatever…

I understand why people would feel like they couldn't talk about this. If we're being honest about feelings here, I honestly felt no sympathy for the women above. To be honest, I saved all my sympathy for their children.

"men aren't taught that pillar of adulthood, disappointment management."

Dude here. Many years ago, I was sent a text in reply to a voicemail I'd left for a girl I was seeing. It read something like, "Hi [my name], thanks for your call. I've had fun with you, but I really don't see a future."

This was after having a 30 minute phone call...I was certainly not interested in seeing him in person!

WE SUFFER ON

Having a copper IUD has made my period like 9+ days, so like is there a list of these dudes?