If I h/t'd someone for inspiring me every time I commented, every comment would have a h/t for you.

So many fewer lines, yet so much better. Just like Raysism. +1

Love it.

Well played, sir.

I secretly prepared this 13 years ago for when the story broke and he eventually passed. For, you see, I am Mike McQueary.

His skin is also similar to that of a shark. It's rigid and probably feels like sandpaper.

Caught me off guard. +1

That's great. +1

His inability to report his friend to the authorities really bit him in the ass.

And you guys are fucking giddy with shark and rape jokes.

OH COME ON I DID ALL THAT TO GET BEAT BY A MINUTE.

Joe Paterno's interview at the Pearly Gates:

You forgot the part where I wake up with my pants around my ankles with Vaseline coating the outside of my asshole. Spot on other than that.

I really should have used the Nazi Shark in my Gawker Jamboroo. I have failed you all.

You guys are the best. This will be a fun evening of trolling prior to a fun evening of drinking.

Don't we all. Don't we all.

Being pink over there is sure fun right now. But I'm doing what I can, dammit.

The Whimpering Winner

SOPA DUAN:

Tomorrow's New York Post headline: