[takes a shot]

You guys should run more of these feel-good stories.

The second pic actually looks the most genuine to me, since Messi appears to have stolen his suit from a ventriloquist's dummy.

Usually when someone from Southern California has trouble buying something, they just ask Pete Carroll.

Things That Are Democratic, Ranked by Tony Kornheiser

They actually tried this in America already, only instead of soccer it was college football, instead of players it was an assistant coach, and instead of the field of play, it was a shower.

In Soviet Russia, you don't bribe officials, the officials no wait that was right.

I can still hit the ball 45 yards outside the numbers with good hangtime

Excellent fucking article. Great job.

It's a good theory, but I don't think it makes complete sense. Priefer wouldn't cut you because he'd be afraid that he'd catch AIDS.

Tim Tebow: "... and that's why I think Missouri won't live up to its preseason expectations. Now, let's throw it to Dan Patrick, back in the ESPN studio."

They used a "K" so the kid wouldn't accidentally end up at Harvard.

No, I mean that's what we call them.

It's even worse once you consider there's TWO MORE of these asshats walking around somewhere. Thanks a lot, fertility clinics!

"Rearrange the letters in PENIS and you have I ESPN." — @darrenrovell

Of course it was an amateur hour, but at least we didn't have to pay anything to see it. If he was a professional, there would have been a charge.

Man, what a great video. Well done yet again, Mr. Belichick.

(Sunday November 24, 1963.)

I am surprised you can type while you have your fingers in your ears and saying "lalalalalalalalala"