They do want to cuddle...your insides with their mouths

Oh Lindy, dat kitteh!! It's like a weird monkey-cat raised on nothing but Benny Hill!

She should be playing Nefertiti in a movie.

My god, what kind of face is this even? How seriously gorgeous can a person get?!

...so bascially this is someone going

From PBS to your nightmares in the 70s.

Or "diarrhea." An english prof. once told me that during a survey of non-english speakers, the two words most commonly deemed beautiful by their sound alone, since these participants had no idea of the meanings, were syphilis and diarrhea.

Or chlamydia.

i want to see the shark tank/dragon's den episode of this

That is some solid gold coping right there! I used to answer alternate questions like "Why are you such a little shit?" I'd answer "I hear prune juice can help with that." Or "Do you want your father and I to divorce?" I'd answer with "Blueberry waffles are so much better than maple but to each their own." My brother…

I started making up crazy stuff to write in my diary, because I knew she read it. When I started talking about the Satanic alien cult, I think, maybe, she got the message.

My mom did that crap! I started giving her sarcastic responses. Sitting on the toilet *knock knock* "What are you doing?" "Cocaine off the toilet seat". Painting toes with the door closed in bedroom. *knock knock* "What are you doing?" "Digging my way to China".

1 to 2 tbsp of unsalted grass-fed butter

It doubles as a Rose Petal Doll Halloween costume. Versatility!

The Pat Patterson story, while great, was not necessarily news. homosexuality was only a kayfabe (wrestling for fake) secret. He's been openly gay at WWE for over a decade, when Darren Young came out a year or so ago, Patterson was oft cited as evidence of WWE's corporate acceptance of homosexuality.

I know this is more me being sleep-deprived than anything, but for a second there I thought Spock was Zoolander and was trying really hard to place Kirk in that movie.

Bad dolphin! EeeeEeee means EeeeEeee!

I love the Intuition! The sensitive skin ones are the only shaving product that doesn't give me rashes on my legs. Plus they're easy to travel with since it's one product. (Heck I even forgot the handle once and still managed a decent shave on my legs.)

You can have my Intuition when you pry it from my dead, cold hands. The blades are expensive as hell, but since they're the only things keeping me from cutting my knees and ankles to bits, I'll gladly hand over my money.

The Intuition is the best! I have the tiniest shower stall ever so there is no way to lather then shave, there is no escaping the water. It is also a time saver. I'll never go back.