Somebody make the word "normcore" go away.

I have a cat named Frank. She is female. Frank be crazy.

Ok I am an idiot for thinking this, but my initial thought was "what recipes even call for snake milk?". Venom. I realize now that we are talking about venom. My bad.

Fuckin' makeup! How does it work?

This goes to show that the Victorians had some good ideas...

Minnie says "Thank you!". She has permanent resting bitch face. She's definitely the alpha female of my kitty family! In contrast, Maxwell always has the clueless "I don't know what's going on right now please somebody pet me" look.

Aww, I put a red bow on my baby Maxwell for valentine's day this year! For good measure, here is a picture of my first born, Minnie:

Ooh, that's a good idea (the Hand to Dany)! I think Dany and Jon Snow are going to get together in the long run. He is a Targaryen himself*, and we all know how they like to keep it in the family. That's my guess, anyway.

First...wait what?! Is this real life?

Quitting smoking was simultaneously the worst and best thing I have ever done for my body

Not just whiteface. Shaun White Face.

So I've only been at this parenting thing for 2 years now, but in my experience, just do your best not to push an agenda one way or the other. This means…

Oh God, my mother having control over a wedding, shit, help us all. I can't imagine anything else more miserable.

Well, we had a good run. We're overdue...

OMG. I used to run home from school every day and NO ONE COULD TALK TO ME while GH was on. I loved Bobbi. Those were some awesome soap opera days. Leslie and Alan Quartermaine, and then fuckin' Robert Scorpio and Holly and then ANNA with the scar on her face hidden by her hair, and their little daughter Robin who was…

I disagree (though I know this entire article is a joke).

Yes- there was that guy who did a blackface performance somewhere, and was pissed off when quite a few people were offended and complained. He said something along the lines of, "Hey, I've slept with some black chicks, I'm not racist."

She doesn't know that I've called an Emergency Meetings of All Black People. We are drafting a contract that any white person must sign before any of us get busy: