I don't care about Goopy. I just clicked on it because it's a Lindy article, and I knew it would be good. I wasn't disappointed.

If your offspring starts throwing a tantrum in the restaurant I'm eating in, yeah, I'm going to grimace. I might even scowl! But my face doesn't throw off death rays. I have to deal with your kid - you can deal with my facial expression.

When I was very little, I loved antebellum fashion. I wanted to wear corsets and pretty dresses like Scarlett O'Hara. And then I got old enough to learn that those pretty dresses were made with slave labor and what that really meant for the people who were forced to sew them, and launder them, and dress the rich…

Antebellum is a pretty sounding word. But then, so is malaria...

I always knew when my first attorney had to be in court, because she would wear some seriously short skirts. They called her Ally McBeal behind her back. She came into the office one day (not a court day) wearing a periwinkle blue velour track suit, tube socks, and silver lame ballet flats. The support personnel had…

But it's okay for me to have makeup on for mine. And for my mom's to show her weight as it was in 1950 when she got her first one. Way to go DMV.

I think my stock responses, after I passed thirteen, were first "building a nuclear weapon" and then "what the hell do you think I'm doing?" as I held up my book or the phone receiver.

I didn't until she got very sick and wasn't really herself for a while. By the time she was marginally better, I had had a taste of normal and was not going to let her pull that crap anymore.

I can picture my mom doing this when I was that age. Not for crazy religious reasons - she wasn't that type - but just because CONTROL. She couldn't stand the fact that sometimes I'd go to my room and shut the door because what could I be doing in there by myself???? (answer: getting the hell away from her for two…

This actually sounds like a good idea for people who commute or work outside in the cold. I wonder how warm they are?

Yep! I can put flats on...but I'm going to walk on the ball of my foot and they're going to flop off annoyingly. So why bother? I tend toward platforms (because they provide some cushioning) and stockier heels rather than stilettos (though I can wear either). As long as they're the right size and not toe pinchy, I…

I think they're hideous.

My company is populated by well educated, MBA holding people for the most part; I don't think anyone here has below an associates degree. We're housed in a corporate office building with a lot of security. We have strict control over several floors, keycard entry to each floor, and the ladies' on every floor…

I'm 36 and I've always hated answering machines and voicemails. I tend to get rambly for some reason, even in my greeting....

Thank you! I will poke around and if I can't find it...maybe we'll try doing it at home. I'm not cooking crafty in the least, but if I word it like a challenge, my husband might be up for it. ;)

I put it on cold, but that's just me. I think heating it up would be fine too. Also, I love Sriracha mayo...and I might have been eating it on pizza lately. Maybe.

No! But now i want it! Can i get this wondrous thing around DC?

Someone at my company has a relative who makes it. I am sadly not friendly enough with him to score a jar.

Thank you. I will be stealing this.

I dont need hot suace, lettuce, or pickles anymore. It replaces them all.