I used to think I was the “jealous type” because I wouldn’t have trusted my ex-bf in ANY of the above scenarios. Turns out, he was just a cheating son of a bitch. Now, all of the above scenarios sound fine, because they are perfectly normal and I married someone I trust completely. Also, after a couple of years of…

Not sure if intentional, but I love that you changed ‘au pair’ (meaning something on the lines of barter-paid-employee) to ‘au pere’ meaning to the father. LOLOLOL— that’s their REAL purpose!

So true! I graduated from an Ivy and used to say on dates that “I went to school in New York.” Nobody ever followed up until my husband, who was totally impressed and will never let me play down my accomplishments again.

Me too! My neighbors must think my marriage is secretly on the rocks...

Hello happily-singing-breakup-songs twin! Just this Monday, I was primping for work and belting off-key to Icona Pop’s “I Love It” and my (clinically bipolar) husband walks in and comments “What is it like to be so happy all the time?” We laughed.

Tip #1: Be super awesome.

Eileen Fisher, Faded Glory and Coldwater Creek? I’d rather die.

My husband is like that... but he also sometimes works late shifts and always wakes me up when he gets home. Then 2 minutes later, he’s asleep, while I’m stuck awake for another 2 hours. I’ve been tempted to let the dog run around our bedroom when I leave in the morning.

I couldn’t get past “Scombridae.” Stomberdey?

Interesting! I had always heard the exact opposite. That endurance-run-hunting was the reason human beings can out-endure almost all other mammals. http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/…

Me too! In high school, I would watch my gym teacher and only run while she was looking, then the moment she looked away, I’d stop. I failed the mile fitness test every year. Now, 10 years later and 20 lbs heavier, I’m gearing up for my 2nd half marathon. Fitness =/= size. (even though losing the weight is my overall…

The analogy could account for that with the glue! The last paper towel to come off the roll is usually glued on and takes some extra tugging to pull off.

Same! As soon as the “back-to-school” sales started, I went and got my coats dry-cleaned and ordered a new pair of Sorels!

That’s so funny! I have the opposite problem— prominent eyes that make everything look dramatic/deranged. I tried a “smokey” look that called for matte, black eyeshadow on the upper lid to crease. I looked like a panda. Makeup tutorials were never meant for this much visible eyelid space.

Halloween 2013: Comic book Superman and Lois Lane! (added dots are very time consuming!— cartoon boobs are SO worth it!)

I was a dumb kid too! When I was 14 or so, I was given $10 and tasked with buying ice cream from Thrifty's for a cousin's birthday party. I completely forgot that freezer gallons of ice cream existed, so I went right up to the Thrifty's ice cream counter and bought 2 hand-packed PINTS of ice cream, which was not a…

When I was much younger and stupider, I ran into my ex of about a year at our fraternity house during a homecoming visit to our alma mater. He took me aside to angrily demand that I stay away from his fraternity (which was my fraternity too), his friends (who were my friends first), and his family (who were my…

It's very moving when these elite runners do it, but I recently saw a woman collapse a few yards short of the finish line at a *half* marathon (definitely not a real athlete). She looked BAD— her eyes were rolling loose in their sockets, she couldn't move at all— and all the idiots around me were shouting at her to:…

Ross was insufferable in every way.

Ignoring is the only way! My (dreamily wonderful in every other way) husband, unfortunately, was spoiled by a very, very self-sacrificing stay-at-home mom. So, for the first 26 years of his life, he learned to ask "where's my this?" *before* looking. After wasting so much of my precious time finding things he hadn't…