Every sentence she utters would cause buzz word bingo cards to go full blackout. Its like she vomited the mission statement of every Silicon Valley startup from 1998 all at once.

Andy, from one father to another, congratulations. Being a dad is the single greatest thing I’ve ever done, and it sounds like you have all the appreciation and enthusiasm needed to be a great dad.

Tyra is bringing us.... The Mall(tm)

Your Gossip Girl reboot is not going to happen any time soon.

Not only a fraud but the wench had the nerve to be angry at people who copied “her” design!

I guess he didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition

Fingertips are cool. You can cut them completely off almost down to the first joint, and they will regenerate perfectly, no scar tissue although the nail might be wonky. The key is to keep the wound open, which many ER docs still don’t know so they close the cut when people slice off their finger and then the…

Lots of people have tried to alter their fingerprints, but they are weirdly resilient to most attempts to alter them. I have a big scar on my thumb, some skin went missing in a cooking accident, the fingerprint lines are slowly growing back over the scar tissue. Even if you sand off all the skin and the body has to…

Let’s be honest ladies, who hasn’t considered getting their fingerprints surgically altered and adopting the identity of a Croatian citizen in order to evade the law at some point? I mean with Instagram and everything, the pressure is just so pervasive these days.

“A private dick, hired by Bezos, a public dick”

I’m an American, and even I don’t know what the hell a Postmates is.

“Flamingo83 pt2 was found frozen today after venturing to the local convenience store in the polar vortex, authorities warn that even if you got it, you shouldn't flaunt it in -30 degree weather. Back to you, Rob."

I would be mad all day.

I’m Canadian - WTF is a “postmates”? Mail-order partners, I assume?

“I’d punch you out but I’d drop my ice cream!” surely the cry of the true leader and king.

To be fair, if I looked like J-Lo, I’d be flaunting it all over creation too.

Marc Anthony 🧛‍♂️ 😍 🕺🏻

You are 100% correct.  There are many more pieces to this than just a voting day.  At its heart, the issue is the GOP does not want to make voting as easy as getting coffee.  If it was, they know they are on the wrong side of history. 

Am I the only one that almost breaks his mouse-wheel when scrolling past the fuckface-in-chief’s tweets?

Did Christie really think he’s the one that looks good in a story where he supposedly had to be stopped from assaulting a constituent that backed off by saying “just take care of the teachers”?