But Leonardo Dicaprio's wrinkly forehead! But IS HE STILL DREAMING- nah, I'm with you. I left the theater feeling very, "it was pretty but I'm not overwhelmed with how amazing this movie was," and everyone around me was like, "it BLEW my MIND!" and I feel like a bad person and I don't geeeeet it (the appeal). I get…

I'm getting old and grouchy and the older and grouchier I am, the less likely I am to watch a show that isn't interested in representing women as human beings.

I feel like a whole college course could be devoted to How To Live Within Your Means (with bonus Doing Your Taxes section!).

I went to a private women's college. It was, and remains, a terrific and supportive place. My graduating class was made up of a bunch of extremely diverse and interesting women, only a fraction of which were under the age of 25.

Sure, but I truly believe (and maybe this is me being naive) that at the heart of things, everyone knows somehow whether or not they would like to be a parent. This is not to say that once you get into the nitty gritty and the weighing of factors that it isn't complicated- it is!

1. Always eat breakfast! But not too much, because I don't want you to be less attractive.

That's so grossly paternal. eeyuck.

I would totally rock out that The Cheat jacket and pants, but the Spongebob shirt totally creeps me out.

I have been mugged and raped. I was only shamed for rape.

Yes. It's not like a boner for clits, but the tissue gets suffused with blood and becomes more sensitive and swollen. So do the labia! If you're into the ladies and they are into you, my advice is to take your time and really listen to what she wants and responds to. And to stop thinking that clits should be…

OH MY GOD. Sorry, it's just- ouch.

Chicken-cranberry party salad brings it because everyone gets really drunk in an attempt to not taste it.

Fair point. I mean, ketchup is basically sugar + tomatoes. And mustard wasn't sweet enough so we add honey to it! We're like a nation of bears.

The scary thing about this is that as far as I understand, these kids were vaccinated, so it's not that their parents are anti-vaxxer idiots. The most terrifying thing to me is when I'm reminded that we haven't completely mastered everything about disease.

Homemade girlfriend.

This is the best. YOU are the best.

They are expensive in February! He was making hummus!

I could get behind the lesbians playing video games! I mean, will they let me play winner?

Des Moines??

I need there to be someone out there whose kink is watching other people pay their taxes. "Oh, you're three months late, John. Gonna have to pay a late fee. Do it! Log into H&R Block do it do it."