Even. If. Vaccines. Did. Cause. Autism. Which. They. Do. Not. An. Autistic. Child. Is. Still. An. Alive. Child.

God, it must really be awful for those creators to have a bunch of people on the internet making assumptions about their intentions and criticizing them publicly. Good thing it’s only on twitter though, imagine if there was a whole app, just for that!

Fuck IPA fever. I am so sick of wasting ten minutes per table explaining our vanilla espresso IPA, our 36,000,000-minute IPA, our Antidisestablishmentarianism IPA. Go hump a barrel of hops and GTFO of my face.

The thing that drives me batshit crazy about this whole thing is that Apostolic Christians don’t believe that Catholics are real Christians! Why is she so excited to meet the head of the Catholic Church if she believes Catholics are going to hell?! (Answer: Because she’s an attention whore.)

Fuck it, I don’t want a mouth full of grease/oil. That’s why I blot that bad boy, not because I want to delude myself into beleiving I’m some how saving myself calories.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve been to church, but this one popped right to the front of my mind:

—I believe Jesus is a capitalist.—

Women wanted eight more minutes of foreplay and seven more minutes of intercourse

say all you want, we all know this is the best ring:

I do that during really boring teleconferences!

Thank you! I am going to Target today (because Target always makes me feel better!) and I’ll pick up the ELF stick thing!

How do you put on mascara if your eyelids are all puffy (lets say from a break-up :( )? I look like I have no eyelashes without mascara but I legit can’t get it on without it going all over my eyelids.

I’m pretty upset with how Jezebel readers are being so incredibly dismissive and actually shitty about this.
Nursing is a predominantly female occupation and as such has routinely been dismissed as a less than vocation for exactly that reason. We have to fight to be taken seriously ALL the time. I get shitty comments…

Exactly. And what’s ridiculous is that the conservatives love him because he’s supposed to be this straight talker. If that were actually true he would say “The Bible? Couldn’t care less. Don’t think it applies to me.” But even Trump isn’t stupid enough to come out and say something like that. So basically he says…

The Bible is yuge, Jesus Christ was terrific, He made great, great deals for His people.

“and god shall smite the haters and losers”

“My favorite part was where he - *clenches fist* - catches that rye.” - Trump

“ Bible? My favorite Bible passage?
Well, ‘ya know, it’s everything. It’s just all so amazing, where would you even start? I love all of it. Just all of it, from beginning to end”
** I’m paraphrasing, of course. **

You shouldn’t be proud because, like most online pedants, you’re wrong. Take Merriam-Webster, for instance, or Dictionary.com.