My in laws have a little mutt who came from the rescue with the name Beans. Plural. It stuck, obviously.

Right? Anyone who's owned a pet has experienced pet-name mutation, and it always ends up being like fourteen names long. Our family dog Lily ended up as Lillian Pants von Belford III.

What bugs me more than anything else, frankly, is that even if you tell the bagger to use however many bags it takes, they've clearly been browbeaten so many times by assholes haggling over 10 or 20 cents that they load as much stuff into as few bags as possible — so it's a guaranteed ticket to the handles ripping off…

Seconding the suggestion of using produce bags. Slightly less convenient due to a smaller size and lack of handles, but they still get the job done!

Well, of course, I would be horrified too! It's objectively horrifying. But he was the one who chose a terrible time, place, and social context to pull out a small, very valuable object. It looks like everybody has been drinking — not sure if either of the couple were, but I wouldn't be surprised. It's a terrible…

Dude is (totally unjustifiably) furious. Check out that accusatory "Oh my God" and accompanying look. I wonder if he retroactively retracted the proposal afterwards?

Especially when the misfortune is so, so easily anticipated. This isn't even a boat. It's a series of floating chairs. And he doesn't have the ring in a box, just gripped loosely in his fingers. With a bunch of drunk people. It's like he wanted it to happen.

I literally, no joke, shoved my chair back from my desk in horror upon reading this. I'm so sorry.

Oh, I have complete respect for women who choose not to share. I don't think anyone is trying to hide that miscarriages occur altogether, and it's absolutely valid to choose not to expose yourself to that type of emotional vulnerability. I've just been very inspired by brave women who are willing to open up about…

Yeah, the casual card-counter is unlikely to run into issues. It's when people start trying to make a living off it that the casinos start catching on.

It's against house rules because the house makes the rules and wants everything weighted in its favor. As soon as you start getting smart and eating into their odds, you aren't welcome as a customer anymore. It's not illegal for precisely the reason you point out — but casinos are private businesses and can ask…

I dunno. Politics aside, I wish more people (men and women) were aware of how common miscarriage is. I understand people wanting to wait until they're "out of the woods" to announce pregnancies, but not talking about miscarriages hides how frequently they occur. So many women feel like something is wrong with them…

Right? I never thought I'd say this regarding an all-denim outfit, but I think she's actually pulling it off.

Border collie, actually. I'm a little embarrassed that I know that off the top of my head — but not that embarrassed. And I actually agree that a border collie is a better fit than a golden retriever: more organized, better at giving orders. Goldens are pretty doofy (I say this as the proud family member of a…

Venice and Atlantic City: Constant safe havens for thigh-bearing floozies.

Yeah, but that would happen regardless. At least it would cut down, even slightly, on the enormous consumption of meat across the country. It doesn't even have to be health-related, which is why it kind of baffles me that Fox News is fixating on some Dietary Big Brother. Bottom line is, it saves the school money…

Maybe some canned corn. Exciting.

Ughh, I can't even look at these. I used to foster orphan kittens for the LA shelter system but can't anymore, and for some masochistic reason I never took myself off the email list. I get several emails a day from the foster coordinator with subject lines like "Need foster for four bottle-babies TODAY!" or "Kittens…

Exaaactly. And there's this understanding of certain tropes being eternal wisdom and ignoring any conflicting evidence: e.g. the reluctance of men to play a female main character is why Tomb Raider has been such a money-losing franchise...right?? (Now, I'm not saying I don't have issues with Tomb Raider. But it…

Hey, no, thanks for being non-douchey! I understand why people get into it — I think for a lot of them, it fills the need for community that contemporary society doesn't provide much opportunity for — but the evangelical zeal just gets old. Hope you and your wife have found a great fit!