I’m 38 and I give myself hand jobs nearly every day.

+1 Putting the dick in pendantic

Seriously tho, the whole Hiddleswift affair has somehow redeemed this douche nozzle a bit.

After careful consideration, and hour long (coughthreesecondscough) deliberation, I have come to the inevitable conclusion that I’m all:

I’m not your friend, buddy.

He’s not your pal, friend.

He’s not your guy, pal.

I don’t think he’s their buddy, guy.

Asian cinema is 10x larger than American... From Bollywood to Chinese controlled government movies Asian people are leads in movies every day...

Yes, also known as “americans.”

I’m trying to get outraged about an american adaption of a japanese cartoon using american actors and I just can’t.

If women ever join men on a major professional sports team, I think it will be baseball and I look forward to it.

Appleton rim club soda & a splash of cranberry. Hammock view of Jamaica seaside. Rereading Marge Piercy, smokin a fat spliff. Cheers y'all!

It would be horribly tragic if my ability to protect myself or my family were to be taken away, but that’s exactly what Democrats are determined to do by banning semi-automatic handguns.

“We knew it was only a matter of time; we had to get him down,” she told herNYT interviewer. “We didn’t have anything on the plane to help him.”

I’d appreciate it if you didn’t refer to my Grandma’s assisted living facility that way!

Take a Xanax weirdo

Dwyane Wade is gonna look good in a Cavs uniform next year

bad take

Cleveland is going to build a statue of LeBron the size of the statue of liberty.