A thin, transparent facade that barely conceals the grim skeleton of false promises and dashed hopes?

You're aware the Olympics start Friday, right?

In fairness to Russia, US policymakers also covered several colossal screw-ups with a TARP.

Is that how the animal death squads are doing it?

I think they're trolling.

I don't know. The bed trick wins for me on its sheer scale and audacity. I mean, who bungee jumps a bed with someone sleeping in it? That's just made of awesome!

See, this is what I hate about celebrity and sites like Jezebel sometimes.

I hate what the Internet has become.

It's going to be hard for 2014 to beat 2013 after I saw this prank:

Clearly, everyone really needed to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers shirtless.

What they think they look like.

Which...I dunno, kind of makes it all look a bit silly, no? Call me a fake space combat purist, but the ballet moves of the prequel trilogy seemed as fake and boring as the rest of the flicks; overly-choreographed and using spins to make up for a lack of gravitas (or acting ability).

Dear Shakira and Rhianna,

That's not how salary caps work.

The Seahawks are one of the youngest teams in the league, which means this isn't an anomaly—they're going to keep on winning.

Of course she wasn't. If any of you watched the interview with the Hispanic (I think so) guy before the Erin Andrews interview, you'd know it. She was walking next to them all the time and heard Sherman yell. I guess she was just startled by how loud he was.

All part of the plan that leads to Johnny Manziel, Toronto Argonauts starting QB.

You sure did.

It's official. Seattle fans suck.

Shut the fuck up.