And enough Toradol to make Barbaro a triple-crown winner.

Adrenaline is a hell of a drug. Also, opioids that haven’t been banned yet.

Amateur

Rob Gronkowski says he couldn’t sleep for weeks after a fairly routine hit in the Super Bowl

I once had to ice my knee and take off a day of work because I tried to get a playing card from under a table with my foot.

I know where he is coming from, I got a charlie horse the other day, and despite the pain and my body screaming at me to stop, I kept at it and finished that bucket of chicken.

When even Gronk is smart enough to retire, it’s hard to hold a grudge against Andrew Luck

“Sir, this is an empty room”

I honest to God have no idea who you’re arguing with right now.

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…

Honestly, none of what you described even sounds like that petty of shit. Littering is something assholes and lazy pieces of human excrement do. 

That commercial has been waiting patiently for 27 years, sitting on the bench, knowing someday its moment would come. Today, that moment arrived.

Maybe he was just mildly pissed the Lexus decided to stop right on the crosswalk, and just wanted to make a point?

no limited-slip diff

Exactly, all fun and games before the ambulance shows up.

$400 is not much more than the scrap value of a car.  If there’s even a question of whether it might ever run, that is a NP.

This is like finding a 99 cent all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet.

+uno más

Out of respect, all local Taco Bells have ordered their flags to be flown at half más