“great! Another broken white boy to fix”

“...proudly wore the damn thing while scanning every single person within range to not only make sure everyone saw their hat but also ensure that people knew it was on purpose.”

OF COURSE one of her children is named Jaxson.

If I travel anywhere and I see that sign, I’m going the fuck back home.

Let this mark the day I first gave a shit about anything concerning Ed Sheeran.

It sounds like they faced it down, thought they were safe, and then were caught by surprise when it attacked. Hard to think clearly when you’re getting mauled.

Our bodies are not built to fight large cats. We have thin skin that doesn’t do a good job protecting our vitals from large claws and huge teeth. We’re good at problem solving and throwing things, and we’re built to do some physical things quite well, but fighting large cats and bears is not what we excel at.

A crying emoji in a tweet from an actual news station in a story about someone dying violently just seems so incredibly grotesque.

If you pull someone over for one reason and then say it’s flora or fauna that they noticed on your car, it’s clear the motive is to find a crime. It’s like that “vegetation” couldn’t have come from the tree they were parked under while two cops brainstormed a way to make this an arrest. Why would you respect these…

Wait. Stealing a car radio? Dayum, that’s some 70s shit right there. Who the hell in this day and age steals a car radio? Liiiiiies...

Should’ve used plastic.

Not only that, but that white dude has watched a lot of pornography. Like, an unhealthy amount.

A white guy who asks “well how come they can say it?” in public.

Obviously a white guy wrote that message. Sheesh. As if we would ever say “nigger cock” to another black person.

“I didn’t want her petting me! She had crazy eyes.”

“Ayanna’s dog couldn’t be reached for comment.”

Tell it! I ain’t got all this money to be throwing around on acquaintances. Skip me and send the invite to someone you really love. Invitations should be based on relationships and not the size of a person’s wallet.

we declined most of the summer weddings we were invited to. i’m not trying to spend my summer weekends with you hoes.