This, I go to my local bar to indulge my latent alcoholism thank you very much.

This is the longest set up for an ARISTOCRATS joke ever.

Yes! Story time!

My vagina. It's known to slay boners by the thousands with it's +69 Axe of Circumcising.

Agreed. My husband and I have different taste in books, but there are books everywhere. I can't imagine being with someone who didn't read for pleasure. That goes hand in hand with not having an interest in learning new things after college.

Biggest boner killer? Not reading. I'm with John Waters on this one. We may like different books/authors (the Boy Heathen and I only share a few favorite books) but not knowing about huge books? Unforgivable. I went out on a date with a guy I thought I really liked. He was GORGEOUS and funny and we liked the same…

They saw a naked woman, covered in sewage, who was being assaulted and beaten, and I don’t know what was funny about that. This is a question that I’m still thinking about, I can’t stop my mind from thinking about it.

I eat a whole lot of salads, low-fat yogurt (I know, I know) and diet soda so...I'm sorry. It was me. IT WAS ME! Okay! OKAY????

Yogurt. SUCKS.

I used to put on "shows" for my family that were modeled loosely on late-night talk shows where I interviewed my stuffed animals and had a dinosaur band. My poor parents, patiently watching as I made things up and my favorite bunny promoted a new movie.

Right? I've blown so many men's minds pointing out women in real life who were without a doubt wearing some form of makeup when they were all "I like girls who don't wear makeup!" (note: this was in college and they just didn't know any better). This is why I personally see wearing dramatic makeup (if you feel like…

You know, for the past week or so I started watching make up tutorials on Youtube (inspired by that Feminist Makeup parody). As a guy, it has been an incredibly eye opening experience. Just the amount of work you have to do just to get to the "natural" look would have tired me out.

I know! I was like...DOES. NOT. COMPUTE.

99% of Egyptian women have experienced sexual violence/assault in their lives. But "...such vile behavior was not characteristic of the Egyptian people." There's a disconnect somewhere, and I think it's in this dudes fuckin' head.

I learned an interesting factoid on my last transPacific flight: when your baggage is "accidentally left behind," that's code for "plane hit weight limit and they ditched some luggage, sorry yours was in that pile."

So, what they are saying is female passengers get discount tickets?

It makes nothing but sense to me.

since men weigh more, they should become a female-only airline. female pilots, female flight attendants, female passengers. no men. sounds logical, right?

Well played.