I know. That’s patriarchy for you, the devil just offers you new lips for your eternal soul and you don’t even negotiate. Come on ladies! Know your worth!

WHAAAAAAT.

GOOD BOY. GOODEST BOY.

Oh, my God. On multiple, multiple levels, I am so sorry all of this happened to you.

This response is brave and important. 

FUCK. YES. If Tom Hardy knocked on my door I would throw my husband’s things out on the lawn.

FUCK NO

GAAAAAAHHHHH! Burn it down, no other choice.

SO HYPE

You keep bringing up that toadstool willy, Stormy. You should make sure we don’t forget that tiny dick-shaming is bad. Be sure to remind us that Trump’s having a weeny mushroom chode is nothing to be ashamed of. Daily, tell us again and again, that his TINY TINY DICK is no bad thing.

It needs more ghosts, though.  If any of these bad dates involve haunted food courts, then it will be complete.

Can we just call him “Ballsac Fuckface” from here on out?

So here’s all the voter registration deadlines, compiled by the Root.

It’s like Ted Cruz’s home planet keeps sending interns to infiltrate us but they absolutely cannot handle the assignment.

Holy wobblin’ crawdaddies.

stopped on the way to tell his parents on him.

That's a lot of WTF crammed into one story.

Not a date, but I was on a plane once next to a guy who asked me where the plane was going. That was... interesting.

The epilogue tho. 😂😂😂😂

I was going through a bad period in my life and went out with a guy who told me that any woman who calls herself a feminist in her OKCupid profile is guaranteed to be ugly and said he wouldn’t go down on a woman unless she was completely waxed bare. He also had a huge scary tattoo of monsters/ghosts on his chest and…