I hate dancing around the obvious, so: She totally sucks his dick.

Sorry, but John Varvotos did this first and did it better. Still the only retail establishment that I've been in where I thought that my money was absolutely not wanted. I hope the staff is dying slowly and painfully from genital boils.

Have you ever handled a half dozen dirty plates at once? When perceived speed determines whether or not you actually get paid for your work ? I’m guessing that’s going to the NO column.

She's a fucking imbecile. 

Please do fantasy / stunt casting for the three (WTF!?) Gawker films in development. It might ameliorate some of this current anxiety. Thanks.

I’ve been smoking weed for 25 years. Not once did a dealer lace that shit. What sense would that even make? “Great idea: I’m going to rub this very expensive drug all over this moderately priced drug for riches and fame!”

I’m not going to verify it or anything, but those can’t be actual song lyrics. Nah.

But how do the boots taste when you lick them?

I want to type hateful words. But fuck that, and fuck her, it’s Betsy fucking DeVos and she doesn’t even merit hatred. *spit*

We have a bingo.

Goddamn. She needs to utilize capital letters once in a while.  

This is delightful. What a vivid, wonderful memory for your little ones.

*vomit* There must be better lawyers near you. I hope so at least.

No, don’t call the cops, t-students. I fucking guarantee you they will not be on your side. Get a lawyer if you are able first, and document every damn second you have to put up with this shit. It will serve you better in the long term.

Big ups to Columbus.

Just real quick... Your sex life is trying to tell you something. Listen. It’s usually the best indicator of a relationship’s viability.

Sorry, but I’m just going to refer to Dan Savage. DTMFA.

Thanks for caring about those poor kids. Sending good energy their way. 👍

What an absolutely adorable sweetheart. 😁

Why hate on sugar gliders? They can fit in your pocket and (maybe) won’t want to bounce out.