Coach Tressel's "Buckeye Rub" is not impressed.

@Quake 'n' Shake: A coonskin thong? That doesn't sound comfortable at all.

@This.Is.Malcolm: +1

I guess you could call it Freddie Mitchell undercover cop!

@T-Bone (CoCo the Monkey): If you call that living.

"You know how many kids I hit? Plenty. Let's talk about all the kids I hit rather than the one chair."

@Knight_Of_The_Burning_River: @Laser Guided: Yes, Monday morning hangovers do not help the spelling, or the punctuation. Or the fact that I'm a tool.

@Torgo's Executive Powder: The NL West would like to dispute that.

Is he really better off in San Francisco? They're so cheap they won't even give him a facemask.

So, wait. The Cheifs, who are in Kansas City, are going to wear the original Dallas Texans helmets? With the state of Texas on it? For a home game in Kansas City? The thought of Texas seceding makes this thought all the more entertaining.

@Matt_T: Three of these at once?

@Afino: Yeah, that could have gone better. In my defense, I was at Game 4 in Detroit yesterday, and really hit the wall this morning.

Danny Heatley just signed up for Carl Edwards' driving school.

@Her?: Not only that, but there's some name calling going on, it appears.

@Her?: True, in Canada they will let you hack to your heart's content, but you have to use a hockey stick. Takes FOREVER, but it's oddly satisfying.

Mad Scientist Anil Makkar

Before the end of the handshake, Tebow declared a thumb war.

@Quake 'n' Shake: I went to Baldwin-Wallace, near Cleveland? Memeber of the Ohio Athletic Conference. You know, the same place where Mount Union resides? So, it's actually a decent conference by default, and BW has traditionally had one of the better programs, but I think somewhere along the line, they forget to…

@Quake 'n' Shake: I also went to a DIII, private college, and will echo your comment, and add this: A good majority, not all, but many, of them were not only borderline idiots, but also grade-A jerk-offs. They never got out of the HS mentality of "big fish in a little pond", esp at a small DIII school like the ones…

Head coach Lance Leipold said no one from the student-run newspaper could call anyone associated with the football program unless he approved.