I hate the color orange but I would've bought this if it was for consumer purchase.

How much fun was it typing that name?

I should tweet this.

You could've made a joke about the man turning into a pig after he was stabbed the second time. You could've made a joke about Houston having a ridiculous number of guns per capita and the one time someone doesn't own a gun, they still kicked ass by being a gamer.

Since I wasn't here for the initial sleeping bag incident, this is my parting gift to you, Mr. Good.

And to think I never did summon the courage to participate in the shop contest. :(

Gonna miss you, Owen. I loved both your articles here and your comments over on Deadspin. Maybe I'll visit Polygon from time to time now.

No, I read exactly two things into it, and that is that you aren't from Texas and are also a complete idiot, and you just confirmed that I was right. Again, do you want a cookie for sharing the same bad sense of humor as everyone else?

Damn.

Wow.

Oh man, you've got P90s? You wouldn't happen to be close to the Pasadena Shooting Club, by chance?

Hell yeah!

Awww, no fun!

This is very true. I'm actually two degrees of Kevin Bacon away from that insane chick who ran over her husband twenty times in the Hilton parking lot.

Oh no, they might ban swords at Anime Matsuri...which is taking place in the same convention center as several gun shows. Cool your jets, props will still be allowed.

It's the internet. Making even the vaguest of references to video games in an attempt at humor is going to get loads of attention, especially on an article about it. Congratulations, you appealed to the lowest common denominator of readership of Kotaku. But I don't find jokes based on fallacies to be very funny. If it…

Yeah, I am because I can pop all the balloons with throwing knives while tipsy. Maybe you should make funnier jokes.

"as it is illegal in the state of Texas to sell a bladed weapon over a certain length"

I mean, that's literally what happens in the original Legend of Zelda, right?

YOU WILL PRY MY SWORDS FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!