I’m pushing 65, and just yesterday my sister and I were having this conversation where we were saying we wished we’d told a lot more people to fuck off.

I said that to someone who really deserved it at my brother-in-law’s wedding two years ago, and I’ve been on a giant “fuck-off” streak ever since. Best thing I ever did.

That's my deal, too. I'm waiting for the right person.

I’m telling myself that it’s because I have “high standards”.

Mine is kind of on purpose (this is what I tell myself) but I'm still in it, so what do I know?

I’m in a frustrating dry spell myself. HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF IT? AUGH.

SUCH great writing & acting and the jokes they came up with were wacky as hell and never got stale.
I’m a ‘Dorothy’ 4 LIFE!

Funny story: during a time when I was very sad about my dry spell, I had to stop watching this show because it was killing me how much action these old ladies were getting.

I refuse to believe there are fully 15 episodes of Golden Girls in which Blanche got none.

I love Golden girls and I will fight anyone who doesn’t, because IT’S SUCH A GREAT SHOW.

My wife said the same thing the first time I told her the story.

I’ve been to three funerals in my life, but my great grandmother’s funeral when I was seventeen has to be the weirdest/most uncomfortable one of them all.

Having experienced both, Jersey’s not even close. It’s like the difference between Yoko Ono and John Wayne Gacy. New Jersey is Yoko - tries too hard, is infuriating, and always gets shit for what they’re not to blame for (okay, and some that they are to blame for). Florida is Gacy - psychotic, dangerous, frequently…

Totally. I wouldn’t even want people standing over me watching me sleep, I SURELY don’t want then doing it once I’m actually dead. For their sake and mine.

She looks like my grandma, who is black though terribly light skinned. (And as a frequenter of historically black churches, her hat game is ON POINT!)

And Piper’s from OITNB.

She lives in my apartment building! She has a little dog! She’s very nice!

You totally just made my fucking night. THIS.

Jean Smart was who I thought of first when I saw that blond hair, I feel a fondness for her.

I’d like Susan Sarandon to play her mom. If the mom is someone who wears short skirts, we need a MILF for this, and Susan is pretty funny when she’s in comedies.