Vince Vaughn was pretty okay for a minute a while back, but John Mayer? Bleerrrhghghuughgh. I mean, the List Of Things I’d Rather Fuck Than John Mayer is long, my friend, and it includes “pile of rusty bottle caps” and “dildo made of frozen Spam and road salt.”

I was a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding in Minnesota a few years ago. On the morning of the wedding, the bakery drove up to the venue (a hotel in downtown St. Paul) and left their brand new Escalade double-parked with the engine running while they delivered my cousin’s cake. While they were inside the hotel, someone…

It’s from a New Zealand cell phone commercial:

Stop. Stop laughing. Stop it. I’ll make you stop. Did I mention Patty is my character’s little sister?

I’m here for the baby photos - don’t let me down commenters! Let the irony FLOW through you!

Ooooh, I’m getting my “Defense of Fraternities” bingo card ready for the comments. On the last article, I got the following categories on my comment alone:

Actually, NZ has three official languages, the third being New Zealand Sign Language. I tell you this not to be a know-it-all but because I’ve had that question in two separate pub quizzes here, it could be worth a point to you one day.

The loudest person in my building is an upper white class male.

It’s damn near impossible as a large-breasted woman to find a boned wedding dress that fits well both sitting and standing. I had mine custom made and we still couldn’t pull that off. You have to make a call, and looking good while standing in pictures is the bigger issue.

Wow I think you really nailed it. It’s easy to feel your deep sympathies for the bride experience through your mocking of her dress choice and body shape.

Damn this PMS I NOW HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES.

Check out Bill Bryson’s beautifully understated “A Walk In the Woods”. He sets off to hike the trail in bits and pieces, so as not to totally disturb his family life. It’s totally inspirational in a very doable kind of way...

Ha! (I told Jessica yesterday that I might need a Xanax to get through this week’s topic!) Thanks so much, that’s so nice to hear!!

Ten bucks says Jamie Lee done it.

Why are we eating them instead of making them president?

Women? For God’s sake, sort yourselves out.

“Sanctimommy”? How on earth have I not heard this term before today?

So sorry to contribute to your bird phobia!! That's a very valid fear. But oh my god, do not fuck with the geese...they're like werewolves in avian form.

You can also hang out with statues of Ramona, Henry Higgins, and, most importantly, Ribsy (!) in Grant Park nearby.

I lived in Portland for about three years, and I’ll never forget the moment when, on a walk, I realized I was on Klickitat street.