GOOD LUCK!!! (I hear it's better luck if you shout your well wishes loudly.)

Ya know, when my bf was in college last year he had to write a resume. Since I am a certified vocational specialist (i.e. I WRITE RESUMES FOR A LIVING), I helped him out and fixed up his resume. It got a 45% because it didn't follow the "guidelines", which were all extremely outdated and wildly incorrect for today's…

Yup! Me and the bf met on OKC 2.5 years ago. It was a classic love story - he sent me a generic message, I fell for it, I got a Friday night date cancelled at the last minute from some other dude and gave him a call because I had already shaved and gotten dressed, we had a great first date where I met literally all of…

Fuck engagement rings, I want engagement contacts.

I think that was part of the joke?

YES! This is exactly how I feel.

I use an off-brand type spanx contraption, and the pee hole is way bigger than that and you can easily pee with the spanx on (not poop tho). The first time I put them on I thought I had split them because I didn't know they had a pee hole! Haha.

Is there any way that we can get a Lifetime movie about Britney early? I don't think I can wait 30 years.

Well, I think I'm done with the internet for the day.

You can just see the souls draining out of the producing staff.

She has my vote!

What do you mean by sexual trauma? I'm not being a dick, just genuinely curious about the 80% figure.

So we can do the exact opposite?

I been there. Bf usually just goes to sleep. If it's during the day and I'm not interested/busy he just does it for himself. And I've done the same if the roles are reversed.

Good god I am so happy I can afford to have my own apartment (not in SF mind you...).

Agreed. If something happens to the baby, I will never be able to trust television again and I'll just move into the woods and live out in my days in anxious solitude.

They gotta start with the Denny's scene from the beginning of the season right...? So I'm assuming bacon.

So...are you free Friday night?

Narcissistic personality disorder. Possible schizotypal traits. Possible sociopathy.

Younger girls might not know any better. No woman over 25 would fall for whatever bullshit he's spewing.