As an accountant, I can say that my field is certifiable reverse-racist. We are always asking, “are we in the black?” and then celebrate if so. WHY IS NO ONE ASKING IF WE ARE IN THE WHITE?!?

You get a star simply because it's the only erect penis I'll lay eyes on today.

Whatever you were going for with the tone and voice of this article did not work.

Yeah, they probably need to lock that thing down, because I’m having too much fun with it.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, I expect amazing celebrations for my birthday. But I orchestrate them myself because I’m a grown-ass adult. “No cards or gifts please: just come to my home and imbibe all this lovely alcohol I’ve purchased for all of us as we dance and karaoke and game.”

Jim Bob’s hair is hair? I always thought it was a Ken-doll type thing.

Chopping off her hair. What kind of fucking medieval punishment is this? That’s what they did to women who slept with Germans during the French occupation. Getting drunk or whatever doesn’t warrant this hateful treatment. This is horrid.

Ha. You said “Vince Vaughn” 3X so he’s bound to show up. How do you plan on getting rid of him?

EWWWWW! NO!

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her...

I fucking hate space before an ellipsis.

I dunno, I’ll still take equal pay over that tbh. :|

No. You aren’t dating them anymore, they aren’t family, and it’s none of their business. Why would you?

It has WHAT?!?!?!?

I am in TOTAL agreement with all of this. Violet is gorgeous and has amazing style but that’s about it. Anytime she was in an acting challenge she completely flopped. I would have no interest in seeing her perform because it would just be staring at her while she stands there looking pretty in a corset. Kennedy and…

A sequence gown?!

I think it’s mostly men that are tired of disappointing only one woman.

Pretty sure those were jokes...

This reminds me of something I read on Fetlife* recently. A woman was sitting outside, quietly reading her book, when a guy approached her from behind and creepily leaned over her shoulder. After a few moments he asked her her name and she replied “none of your fucking business.” Since this woman struggled with…