This is why I also drink, but my kid is doing good. I just made sure he knew: condoms, condoms, condoms, and never let anyone manipulate you. I found teaching him the myriad ways people attempt to manipulate you, in bed or out, was the best insurance. Let me tell you, my kid takes no shit whatsoever! ;)

Not me. If they are the ones to do it, then fine with me. I’m going to send a little money, and then make a chalk pentagram in my driveway. Then I will hop around it like a devil-worshipping game of hopscotch.

Yes, I really wish for that. I cannot imagine how many trust issues one would have after this. The blog he ran included countless posts about how much he hates women. Married, has a daughter and hates women. Lovely. My faith in men would be shattered if I was in her position. I hope she is much stronger than me and…

Remember how the NYPD tried that in order to prove how “necessary” they were and it backfiring spectacularly when crime did not spike at all?

We got so sick of people asking our theme one week after we got engaged that we decided our theme is “sexy.” We told people that all we want is for people to get it on after our wedding. Which is true.

I will kill myself if I do not hear from you by 6:30.

What, are you going to start giving me only .78 of a star now?

No. He can never have children. Ever. In fact, as a result of this entire situation, Sofia Vegara now gets to castrate him and eat his testicles on a special episode of “Modern Family”

The Declaration of Independence says “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life . . . .” That is, the founders of this country said that every person is born with the right to live, of which the government cannot deprive us. That’s why…

Protester? Don’t you mean “thug”?

Did you read my comment? She wants to run for GOVERNOR in 2018. Statewide office.

We will not let these deplorable and cowardly acts of violence ruin #OurCity.

The protester later was quoted as saying he didn’t believe this would negatively affect his career in the Senate.

Yes, give yourself over to blinding hate, let the froth flow through you. Now scream your bile in the highest court in the land, and your journey towards rage-stroke will be complete.

According to John Stamos, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen knew full-well about the Full House reboot. [E! Online]

It’s so easy if you use an angled brush! Find a great kohl liner (Rimmel has one I love) and line your lid as normal. When you come to the outside corner, add 2 little extra dots of the liner. Next, grab your little winged brush (e.l.f. makes a great one that you can grab at Target) and drag the longer angle up from…

flags r stupid, amirite?

(Seriously though, I don’t get this obsession with revering the flag. It’s nationalistic bs.)

I would not, could not, in the rain. Not in the dark. Not on a train, Not in a car, Not in a tree. I would not do him, Ellie, you see. Not in a house. Not in a box. Not next to a mouse. Or near a fox. I would not do him here or there. I would not do him anywhere!