I’m with him. I’m sick of the way fruity guys dress all fruity these days. We should be more manly and dress like construction workers, police officers, bikers, cowboys or even Indian chiefs.

“Any police officer especially would have reacted in the exact same way I reacted”

With its full name on its tee shirt.

Parents like these are the #1 reason people without children find people with children insufferable.

So you’re saying that if I go to DC in a tight ass dress and am willing to blow some gross old conservatives I can bring about world peace, or at least like, stop them from trying to vilify abortions and women’s health?

Oh my god, I don’t have a cross-section of my kid’s umbilical to show him! I’ve failed as a mother :(

The fuck is your problem, are you a friend of Paula’s? It explicitly said in the story he told her Paula was aware. The words “sanctimonious asshole” were invented for you, you slutshaming nutjob. Get mad at him, if you must. She’s not the keeper of his marriage, he is.

Dog: Damn, if I did that nobody would think it was cute. It would be all “bad doggie! No cracker” Fucking bunnies, almost as bad as cats.

Nope.

All I can think of is the blue scream face Emoji

Are your ex's "friends" still alive? Because if that was my car, they wouldn't be. The guys over at Jalopnik would probably be happy to enact some delayed justice for your beautiful car.

I see London. I see France...

“ Probably a better and faster way to put a stop to this behavior would be...”

Flying on a plane with your period is just irresponsible. You want to attract flying bears? Because that’s how you attract flying bears.

Can’t help ya there, but I bring gifts, and gifs!

Honestly, if I were advertising sex in windows, it’d probably look less like this (I’d wish/think it’d look like that):

Kill.

Murder/suicide all three.