Question, does "time" mean each orgasm or each masturbation session? Because that definitely changes things...

Super serious NEWS FLASH

I think you just penned her concise obituary. This would also make a lovely epigraph for her tombstone.

If your attorney wants to post something about you on Facebook hire another attorney. That's about the most unprofessional (and possibly a violation of professional responsibility standards) thing I've ever seen!

The original title of their song was Slender Maneater.

"Slender" Man?? Nick and Nora Charles have already solved this one!

The Pope himself isn't parent material, because he's not allowed to have sex— so where the fuck does he get off telling me he doesn't approve of a childfree lifestyle! Lookit where The Lifestyle got him: a bulletproof popemobile, palaces full of gold and illuminati secrets, worldwide travel, & all the sparkly gowns he…

As an atheist, I'm pretty sure he's not talking to me. I believe he only wants Catholics to breed and make more little Catholics, so that there continue to be enough people to pay for the church.

Church must be running low on altar boys.....

I approve your sentiment, but that's not a "dialect" of English, come on. Add some punctuation and improve the spelling, and it becomes standard English. If you get the religious references and supply your own punctuation, it's understandable as standard English, not a "dialect."

Fuck that. I like Earth. How about instead we send all the evil bastards to the dark side of the moon.

Seems more likely that a bunch of angry men created god, rather than the reverse.

She made a lot more money than him for the vast majority of their life together. She can afford to dress nicely thanks to herself, thankyouverymuch.

I hope it's paid for by right-wing tears.

Do you even go here?