She s forgetting to tongue the balls...but they probably don’t teach that, either.

The mere thought of my 15-year old daughter having sex freaks me out. *shudders* BUT, when she asked about sex we told her (she was 9, I believe). Subsequently, when she asked about drugs we told her. When she asked about booze we told her. And now, at 15 with 5 years of her parent’s divorce under her belt, she and I…

Samantha’s dog needs to visit Madge...

I want Weir’s suit. I would totally rock that at work, sans flowered mohawk, of course.

Don’t forget “push presents” for new moms. Like...wtf?

Actually - I hope his wife found some rockin’ man who treats her and her daughter like queens, that they have an awesome relationship, and they laughed at his misfortune ever so briefly and then went on with their fabulously happy lives.

Dudes like that should have a scarlet letter. Like a “D” for douche bag, so that we can see them coming. :-/

I was just thinking abut his wife.

I’m 44 and on my desktop the pic I used said I was 20. When I went to my phone and used the same pic it went to 31.

If he wants the embryos, excuse me - babies - so bad, he should implant them in his own body and see if his god gives him a hand in gestation.

Sleeves? I’ll give you sleeves.

Oh, thank you! I shall do just that! (Pictures of the “after” will not be forthcoming as I still doubt my skillz...)

It appeared to me that he was *not* aware of the dress code until perusing it after the fact, and that he sent her with clothes that she could change into if she got cold or spilled on herself, as kindergartners are wont to do.

Ok - I’m lazy and I need more OCC Lip Tar - but I’m on Sephora right now and had to come back and reference this! :-)

I was thinking that the teens were too cool for the Biebs, but I was apparently wrong.

I’m totally going to try this! Target here I come!

I feel your pain. I, too, cannot do eyeliner past my lash line, and I soooo want a sweet cat-eye or even just a wing! I have been cursed with my mother’s eyes and she (at 62) had to have blepharoplasty (I already know how to spell it!) because her lids were literally weighing down her eyes and impeding her vision. I…

I think she thinks it means “Open Gap.”

Yes! This! Three cheers for being able to have sexy time at any given moment!

I had an oophrectomy (tubes and one ovary removed because I am the 1% who can’t have an IUD and it gave me a massive abdominal infection, so they cleaned me out from all the endometriosis at the same time) and a couple years later (because of the same endometriosis) I had the hysterectomy and she left one ovary but…